


Lovesick

by Heath17_KO5



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F, emily/oc mentioned, heartache to happiness, soran friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 10:18:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 20,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22499371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heath17_KO5/pseuds/Heath17_KO5
Summary: Emily is going through a horrible breakup and gets sick on top of that. She relies on her friends, and Kelley in particular, to help her back to her feet.
Relationships: Kelley O'Hara/Emily Sonnett
Comments: 21
Kudos: 298





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I know I have other things I'm meant to be updating, but I had some angsty feelings to work out, and the start of this fic is what happened. I'm not 100% satisfied with the ending, but hopefully you'll enjoy. If you do, please let me know with a comment! Even short ones make my day! It's unbeta'd so all mistakes are mine.  
xx

When it happens, it happens quickly. 

An implosion of emotion and resentment and dormant issues that she’d thought were resolved. 

It’s not loud. There are no fireworks of anger. There’s no explosive yelling. There are no sobs echoing through the room. 

Instead, all of the noise happens in her head. 

She watches her pack with an impassive expression on her face and a cacophony in her mind.  _ Stop her. Say something. Fuck her. Let her leave. This has been coming for a while. This feels so sudden. Maybe we should give it more time. Maybe we’ve already given it too much time. I still want her, but I want her to leave. I still care, but I don’t know that I can.  _

Her keys hit the coffee table with a loud clanging *thud* that sounds final. 

She doesn’t follow her to the door. 

There is no goodbye said, but Emily hears it anyway. 

There’s no doubt that it’s the end.

  
  


She goes for a run. She doesn’t know what else to do. She can’t sit around her apartment all day. Not when all she sees are visions of her. Not when she’s flip-flopping between angry and sad, relieved and resigned, bitter and heartbroken. 

She doesn’t talk to anyone. She doesn’t acknowledge anyone. She puts her hood up and her head down and her earbuds in and she blasts music she doesn’t actually listen to as her feet smack solidly against the ground. 

One foot after the other until she’s out of breath and her shins burn and her eyes sting from the cold wind that’s bringing in dark grey clouds that blanket the sky. 

One foot after the other, walking back towards home as the sky opens and heavy drops of cold rain fall heavily onto her head, tapping onto her hood, soaking her hairline where it peeks out from under her hood, trailing down her face before it drips off her chin. 

She doesn’t hurry. She lets the rain wash over her. 

By the time she opens her door and pushes inside, she’s soaked through, small puddles pooling on the floor as she squelches through her apartment towards her bathroom. She peels off her wet clothes, letting them fall with a soggy slosh to the floor and turns the shower on hot. 

  
  


Emily stands beneath the scalding water and lets it burn over her skin, washing away the cold that has sunk into her bones. She wishes it could wash away the feelings. She’s never been good with emotions. Slap on a smile and tell a joke. That’s what she does. That’s her forte. Act like a goof and push the real feelings away. 

She stands beneath the water as steam swirls around her, obscuring her view of the rest of the bathroom, willing the same haze into her mind to obscure her thoughts. 

She stands beneath the water until the water runs cold and then she steps out, shivering.

  
  


The fever starts the next day. 

At first her brain just feels a little foggy, little tasks seeming harder than normal. She files it away under emotional exhaustion. 

Then come the chills. She throws on a sweatshirt, but she’s still cold. She snuggles up under a blanket as she tries to numb what’s left of her functioning brain with TV, but even that’s not enough.

When her shoulders and her hips begin to ache she already knows, but getting up to find medicine seems like way too much effort, so she pulls on the throw blanket draped over the back of the couch, texts Mark that she’s sick and won’t make practice, and drifts in and out of consciousness as canned laughter blasts from her TV. 

  
  


Tobin brings soup. 

“I didn’t make it,” Tobin assures her. “Just picked it up.”

Emily nods her thanks. There’s a burning in her throat and she doesn’t really want to talk anyway, but Tobin doesn’t seem to mind. 

Tobin fills a bowl for her and presses it into her hands and then makes her tea, too. 

“Chris says it’s good for your immune system,” Tobin explains as she sets it on the coffee table. 

Emily nods again. The movement makes her head pound. 

Tobin plops down on the far end of the couch and takes her in.

Emily stares back with blank eyes as the steam from the bowl of soup in her hands swirls in front of her.

“You look like shit, Sonny.”

“Feel like it, too,” Emily croaks back. 

Tobin cracks a grin, but Emily can’t manage it. Tobin’s eyes sweep the apartment. “Clara couldn’t get off work to take care of you, huh?”

Emily’s eyes fall to her bowl of soup. She can smell the enticing flavors of the broth. She can see the dumplings settled at the bottom of the bowl. Her mouth is watering, but she can’t bring herself to take a bite. 

“She’s gone,” Emily says, the words coming out too harsh, sounding too foreign to her own ears. 

“Oh.”

Her shoulders sag in relief at the realization that she doesn’t need to say more. 

“When?” 

“Two days ago.”

“Shit.”

That about sums it up. Emily shrugs and watches the way the little pieces of scallion swirl in her soup. 

“Eat,” Tobin urges. “Even a few bites will help.”

Emily stares at the spoon, unsure if she has the energy left to lift it. Her head feels hazy and pain throbs between her eyebrows and her eyes burn. Her muscles have never felt weaker. 

“Come on, Son. One bite.”

Emily manages it. The soup is hot as it makes its way down her throat, but it can’t chase away the chills. She takes another bite for good measure, then puts the spoon back down and puts the bowl on the coffee table. 

“So what’re we watching?” Tobin asks, leaning back and looking expectantly at the TV. 

“You don’t have to stay,” Emily replies. 

“I’m thinking something mindless with lots of explosions and some hot girls. You down?”

Emily nods and sinks down further into her pile of blankets, her eyes already falling closed, this interaction proving too much for her right now. She hears the instrumental swell of a company logo before she drifts off. 

  
  


Lindsey’s parked on her couch sometime after dinnertime. The sky is dark outside and more rain patters against her window and Tobin passes off responsibility in Emily’s entryway with a mumbled conversation that Emily can’t be bothered to strain her ears to hear. 

Emily manages half a mug of tea and a few bites of toast before it just feels like far too much effort to ingest any more. Even chewing feels difficult and slow, like she’s forcing it each time she opens her jaws and clenches them down on the food again. 

There’s a moment as Lindsey places a cool washcloth to her forehead that Emily gets confused. Just for a moment blue eyes stare back at her as familiar brown ones. Just for a moment Lindsey’s features shift and the name, “Clara” almost leaves Emily’s lips. 

Just for a moment and then Emily’s head clears just enough to remember, to see properly. 

She closes her eyes and urges the fever to put her back to sleep so that she doesn’t have to deal with having thoughts. 

  
  


Emily’s fever breaks in the night and she finds enough strength to shower and change her clothes. Lindsey’s asleep on the couch when she gets back, so she grabs a clean quilt out of the linen closet and drapes it over her. 

There’s a moment where she thinks that maybe it doesn’t matter that her relationship imploded when she has friends like this to help her through rough times, but then the tiredness takes over again and the ache in her body from too long spent in awkward positions with a fever. She pours herself a glass of orange juice in an effort to combat the tickle at the back of her throat. 

Realistically she knows she’s done very little but her body feels completely drained, so she settles herself back on the couch, coughs, and drifts back to sleep. 

  
  


Kling gets the morning shift, apparently, and Emily can already feel the fever coming back. She manages to eat more than she has in a day, but it takes all of her energy to do so and she’s back asleep on the couch with the knowledge that at some point today she’ll be left alone because everyone else will be at practice. 

She can’t tell if the ache in her chest is from that knowledge or the fever and she doesn’t have the energy to analyze it. 

  
  


When she wakes up again, it’s with the foggy feeling of having slept too long and having no idea what time it is. She’s hot and sweaty and feels gross as she throws off her blankets and tugs off her sweatshirt. She thinks about throwing them all in the wash, but it sounds like so much effort. 

It takes her a moment to realize that someone is clanging around in her kitchen, and when she looks up and catches a glimpse of long brown hair she thinks it must already be after practice and Tobin must be back. 

Except it’s not quite the right brown and her skin is too pale and-

That can’t be right. 

“Kelley?” she croaks, and her voice sounds like it hasn’t been used in days. Her throat burns with the effort and she slurps down the fresh glass of orange juice on the table. 

“Hey! There’s the patient! How’re you feeling? You know, you’d probably sleep better in bed. Just saying,” Kelley greets her, turning around and wiping her hands on her jeans before coming to settle on the couch. 

“What’re you doing here?” 

She doesn’t mean it to sound quite so much like an accusation, but it doesn’t matter anyway because Kelley just laughs. 

“Tobs said you needed a nurse and since my ankle still has me out of commission for club and country, here I am, at your service!” Kelley does a sort of awkward half-bow from a seated position and Emily smiles for the first time in days. 

It’s a small smile and she’s sure it doesn’t reach her eyes, but it’s a smile all the same. 

Kelley looks down at the blankets and sweatshirt that Emily had unceremoniously dumped to the floor. “Right, you’re gonna go shower because I love you but I don’t want to touch you right now and I’m going to get these in the laundry. Then you’re going to eat. Reports about your food and liquid intake have not been good. We’re going to fix that.”

“Can I see your nursing license?” Emily asks. 

Kelley grins. “Well, clearly my presence has you feeling better already if you can be saucy with me.” 

Emily feels another tug of a smile at the corner of her lips. It feels strange, but not bad. 

“Go. Shower. And leave your clothes outside the bathroom door so I can put them in with the blankets.”

Emily gets to her feet shakily, but does as instructed. It’s obviously not just because Kelley arrived, but she does feel just the tiniest bit better. 

  
  


Emily actually has the energy to sit at the table. Maybe slumping is a more accurate word for what she’s doing, but she’s sitting instead of prone, so she’ll take it. She slurps up the soup like it’s going out of style, appreciative more than ever for Kelley’s skills in the kitchen. The fresh food feels good going down, healing in a way. 

“See? Food is good,” Kelley says, with a satisfied smirk from across the table. 

If Emily was feeling more herself she might have rolled her eyes, but it still takes a lot of energy just to nod. The fever is down but not gone. She can feel it lurking in the aches in her joints and the burn in her eyes and the knots of pain in her temples. 

“You still look like death warmed over, though,” Kelley muses. 

“Sounds right,” Emily mumbles, her voice hoarse and lower than normal. 

Kelley’s smile turns sympathetic. 

“Weren’t you in Atlanta?” It’s a thought that’s been pestering her the whole time she was in the shower. 

“Nope. I was in Nashville actually when Tobin texted.”

“Tobin,” Emily echoes, a few pieces of information clicking into place. 

Thinking hurts, though, and it feels slow. 

“So why did you-”

“You needed help. I was in a position to give it. It’s not a big deal, Sonnett.”

“Right,” Emily mutters. 

It feels like a big deal. She’s not sure how many friends she has that would fly across the country to help her. 

She had been feeling like the universe was just piling things on and now-

Now maybe she’s thinking she’s pretty blessed after all. 

  
  


The fever comes back full force before dinner. This time, though, she’s tucked up in bed with clean sheets and clean blankets and Kelley beside her, picking through netflix on her laptop. Her head is spinning and her throat aches and she’s starting to cough and keeping her eyes open feels like a chore, but somehow it’s marginally more bearable. 

Knowing that someone is there, someone who won’t have to go off to practice or other responsibilities in the city, someone who can do things like wash her blankets while she can’t find the energy to-

It helps. It makes her feel like she can get through this, relationship or no relationship. It’s not Clara’s job anymore. She doesn’t want it to be. Not really. 

“John Mulaney. We’re watching John Mulaney,” Kelley declares. 

Emily lets out a vague hum of approval, not that it really matters to her right now. She lets her eyes flutter closed and her head, suddenly so very heavy on her neck, flops to the side. She breathes in and smells Kelley. She’s not sure she’s ever thought about Kelley having a distinctive smell before, but she’s managed to rest her head onto Kelley’s arm, cushioned by her soft sweatshirt, and when she breathes in it’s definitely just...Kelley. It’s nice. Fresh and clean and comforting somehow. 

“Smell good,” she murmurs. Or maybe she doesn’t really say it at all. Maybe she just thinks it hard. Because Kelley doesn’t respond and it doesn’t take long, just a few moments, really, before Emily’s not thinking about anything at all. 

  
  


Emily wakes up to someone stroking her hair. It’s the nicest sensation she’s felt in days. Has it been days? Time doesn’t feel real at the moment. She’s lost track of how long she’s been sick. 

“How’re you feeling?” 

The voice is familiar, but it still takes Emily a second to place it through the fog of her illness. She snuggles into the warmth beside her a little tighter as she thinks who it might be, and then she remembers.

“Like crap,” she croaks. 

“Aww, sweetie,” Kelley murmurs, rubbing a thumb across Emily’s cheek.

A cool hand comes to rest on her forehead. 

“You’re burning up still. Let’s see if we can get some medicine in you,” Kelley says. “Also I really have to pee.”

It’s only then that Emily registers that she is, in fact, half laying on Kelley’s lap, her head nestled into the crook of Kelley’s arm, her leg thrown over Kelley’s. She wonders how long Kelley’s been trapped ther. 

“Sorry,” she mumbles. She thinks, perhaps, if she wasn’t feeling so absolutely miserable she might be a little embarrassed. Which is weird. It’s just Kelley. 

She shifts enough that Kelley can get free, and she’s already starting to drift off again as Kelley leaves her room. 

It’s temporary, though, because she bolts upright, uncontrollable coughing wracking through her body. 

Her chest feels tight and her throat burns as the coughing fit continues. She looks around, eyes watering, and sees a full glass of water on her bedside table. She takes long, soothing, sips, that calm her cough for a moment, but then there’s that damn tickle in her throat and she’s coughing again. It’s not quite as bad, but it makes her already aching body hurt even more. 

She’s really ready to just feel better already. 

  
  


She’s stirred from a listless sleep, regularly interrupted by bouts of coughing, by Kelley shaking her arm gently. 

“Sorry to wake you, but I think you’ll be better off if we can get some medicine in you. Here. Eat this.”

A piece of avocado toast is pushed into her hands and Emily forces herself to eat. It shouldn’t take this much effort. It’s not like it doesn’t taste good. Her jaw aches, though, and her nose is stopped up and trying to breathe and chew at the same time is just difficult. She manages, though, and her reward is a glass of orange juice and some pills dropped into her hand. 

“Ibuprofen and Mucinex,” Kelley explains. 

“Thanks,” Emily replies, taking them in one go. And then, because she feels like she should, she says, “You don’t have to do this, you know.”

Kelley rolls her eyes and gives her a look. “I want to, idiot. Scoot over.”

Emily moves back to her side of the bed and Kelley climbs in next to her. 

“What do you want to watch now?” Kelley asks, opening up her laptop again. 

Emily shrugs. “Whatever you want.”

Kelley nods and leans forward to scroll through Netflix. 

There’s something in Emily’s chest, something tight and warm, and it makes her feel...She’s not quite sure what it makes her feel, but it compels her to say, “Thanks.”

Kelley glances over her shoulder and flashes Emily a grin. “Welcome, sicky. Now get better so that you can nurse me back to health when I catch this.”

  
  


It’s two nights of more coughing than sleeping. Kelley somehow resists the urge to sleep on the couch, instead patting her back when she’s coughing, running out to buy Vicks in the middle of the night, and keeping her supplied in food, drinks, and medicine. 

Her fever is finally down, but exhaustion is taking its toll and the non stop coughing means that her body still aches. 

“Mark’s gonna trade me if I don’t get better soon,” Emily whines, her voice squeaking and barely there. 

“You could come to the Royals. We’ll take you,” Kelley replies with a grin. 

“Ha,” Emily barks before devolving into another coughing fit. 

“I’m just gonna throw this out there, but: do you think maybe it’s time for a doctor?”

“No. I hate doctors,” Emily grumbles. 

“What do you do when you get injured?” Kelley points out. 

“That’s different. It’s just a virus. It’ll go away,” Emily argues. She doesn’t want to have to get up and get properly dressed. She doesn’t want to have to sit in a waiting room and be exposed to even more germs. She just wants to be better. “Besides, the fever is gone. That means I’m getting better.” 

She coughs again and pops a cough drop into her mouth just so she can hopefully have maybe ten minutes of respite. 

“Have you told your cough that?” Kelley asks. 

Emily manages a glare. It’s just a small one, but she does it and her eyes don’t burn, so she’s taking that as a good sign. 

“You’re stubborn,” Kelley says. 

“You’re one to talk,” Emily shoots back. 

Kelley laughs. “Fair. But if you’re still coughing like this tomorrow, you’re calling your doctor.”

  
  


Tobin and Kelley are having a very competitive Mario Kart Tournament. Emily had played once, but the truth is she’s still recovering and her reflexes just weren’t what they should have been. Tobin had murdered her. 

It’s amusing to watch, though. And she’s able to sit up for long stretches. And she’s actually slept pretty soundly for the past two nights. She’s on the mend. She can take care of herself again. 

“Kel, you know you don’t have to stay, right?” The thought strikes her so suddenly she has to let it out, but she regrets it the second the words leave her mouth. She sounds ungrateful. She’s not. 

“Trying to get rid of me?” Kelley asks, half distracted as her whole body leans as she steers around a curve. 

“No, I just don’t want you to feel like you HAVE to stay here still. I can actually take care of myself.”

Kelley pauses the race and looks at Tobin first, who looks back at her. There’s an expression on both of their faces that Emily can’t read, and it makes her feel like there’s something important that she’s missing here. Maybe they’re just questioning her ability to take care of herself. 

“I can!” she reiterates, a little more vehemently. 

Kelley turns away from Tobin and shrugs. “I’ll stay a few more days anyway,” she replies and unpauses the race before Tobin is ready, prompting Tobin to complain about cheating while Kelley laughs. 

Emily’s not really sure why, but she feels a bit of relief at the idea that Kelley isn’t ditching her just yet. 

  
  


She’s back to practice, but it feels like a lot. Her body feels drained and her muscles feel weak and she wonders just how much muscle mass atrophied during her illness. She gets out of breath too fast and ends up having a few coughing fits and she knows that Mark isn’t pushing her as hard as he could, as hard as he needs to to get her back into shape. It makes her push herself a little bit harder. 

By the end of practice she feels like she’s barely holding herself up as her muscles burn. 

“Nice job out there today,” Tobin says and Emily narrows her eyes at her. 

“I sucked,” she retorts. 

“You’re coming back from being really sick. Cut yourself some slack,” Tobin advises. 

“Do you cut yourself slack ever?” Emily shoots back. 

Tobin gives her a little smile that tells her everything she needs to know. 

“Exactly,” Emily says. 

“Nice job out there today,” Lindsey says, jogging over and patting her on the back. It’s a small pat, but the force of it is still enough to make Emily stumble forward. 

Emily glares at Tobin. “Did you put her up to that?”

Tobin shakes her head and looks amused. 

“Put me up to what?” Lindsey asks. 

“Saying nice job. Tobin just said the exact same thing and you’re BOTH liars,” Emily replies. 

“Dasani you’ve been sick. You honestly did well considering.” 

“Yeah, but I need to do well NOT considering or I’m not going to be starting anytime soon. I can’t play if I’m a liability to the team instead of an asset. All of my reactions were slow, my speed is down, my ball handling was sloppy-”

“And a week ago you could barely stand. It’ll come back quick,” Lindsey assures her. 

“Kelley’s been babying me too much. I need to stop letting her do so much for me,” Emily mutters. 

Lindsey’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “Kelley’s still here?”

Just like that Emily feels self-conscious about it, but she’s not really sure why. “Yeah. I think she’s only staying another day or two. She’s just been helping me out.”

Lindsey looks at Tobin and again Emily feels like she’s missing something, like there’s some sort of communication happening right in front of her that she isn’t getting. 

“Oh, well, tell her hi,” Lindsey says after a pause that’s a little too long. 

Emily wants to say, “Okay, what’s going on?” but she bites the question back. Instead she says, “Yeah, will do,” and pushes the uneasy feeling that’s slowly settling in her gut away to deal with on another day. 

  
  


“We haven’t talked about your breakup.”

It’s so out of the blue that it hits Emily like a sledgehammer to the gut. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

Kelley gives her a skeptical look and pats the couch beside her. 

Emily ignores it in favor of continuing to make some avocado toast. 

“You guys were together a while. Son, you were practically living together. She had keys to your place and clothes in a drawer. I know you have feelings you need to talk through.”

Emily shrugs. “We were together and now we’re not.” It’s an oversimplification, for sure, but honestly she hasn’t thought about it as much as she’d expected. The illness kind of took over, and she’s barely been alone. She probably hasn’t properly processed it yet, if she’s being honest, but it doesn’t feel like it’s weighing on her. 

Kelley is giving her a look though. This one isn’t hard to read. It’s equal parts “you’re being stupid” and “I’m not going to drop this”. 

Emily sighs as she gets the egg perfectly placed on the avocado toast, sprinkling a little garlic salt on top for added flavor, and then she carries her plate to the living room and sits down beside Kelley. “I haven’t thought about it too much.”

It’s not a lie, but Kelley looks at her like it is one.

“Wanna talk about what happened?”

“If I say no will you drop it?” Emily shoots back. 

Kelley smirks and Emily rolls her eyes. 

“We weren’t working anymore. It wasn’t like we stopped caring about each other, but it’s like that wasn’t enough anymore. Nobody cheated. There was no one final straw. It was just we fought all the time in the end and we kind of just asked why we were still fighting. When neither of us had an answer she packed and left. I haven’t heard from her since and I haven’t reached out. I don’t- I care, but I resent her, too, and I don’t think I can separate her from that resentment. So it’s over. She’s gone. I’m single. Life goes on.”

“That’s a very practical, unemotional way of looking at it,” Kelley replies after a long moment. 

Emily shrugs and takes a bite of her food. 

“So there wasn’t anyone else or anything?” Kelley asks. 

Emily shakes her head. “Not that I’m aware of at least.”

Kelley nods. She’s silent for a long while and Emily manages to finish her toast. She thinks maybe Kelley’s dropped the subject, but then Kelley says, “And you’re feeling okay? With the break up, I mean.”

Emily wants to just say, “Yeah,” and be done with it, but something in her gives her pause. Is she feeling okay? She thinks about it. She hasn’t missed Clara like she thought she might. All of the emotional flip flop of the days immediately after has been so overshadowed by her illness that she hasn’t really had time to miss her, though. She thinks about her for a moment. She thinks about her kind brown eyes and her silky brown hair cut into that bob that Emily always found so adorable. She thinks about nuzzled kisses and nights spent deep in conversation. She thinks about fights left unresolved and nights spent facing away from each other with far too much bed in between them. She thinks about soft hands and meals cooked with something that had felt like love, but maybe...Well…

“I think so. I think...This is going to sound horrible,” Emily sighs, burying her face in her hands. 

“You can tell me. I won’t judge,” Kelley urges. 

Emily peeks at her through her fingers and Kelley grins. 

“I already know you’re a horrible person,” Kelley teases. 

Emily snorts and takes one hand away from her face long enough to give Kelley a small shove.

“I just...I think maybe I just wanted to be in love with her. She was comfortable and she was cute and she was great in bed and I told myself it was love, but...I think it would hurt more if it had been.”

She doesn’t look at Kelley. She doesn’t want to see the way she’s looking at her. How can Kelley not judge her for what she’s just said? SHE judges herself for what she’s said.

Worst of all: she’s thought it before. Before the breakup she’d wondered. She just hadn’t wanted to think too much, and now-

“You know that doesn’t make you a bad person,” Kelley says. 

It’s so unexpected that Emily drops her hands in surprise. 

“You didn’t use her just because you were trying to make it work, wanting to believe you were in love.”

It’s kind of crazy the way that she didn’t have to really say what was bothering her about it, but Kelley hits the nail on the head anyway. 

“I-”

“You’re a good person, Emily.”

The way that Kelley says her name makes whatever she had been going to say catch in her throat. She’s trying to remember the last time that Kelley called her that. Maybe in her very early days with the national team. It hits differently. She swallows hard, and realizes that Kelley is still holding her gaze, looking more serious than she’s ever seen her. 

Emily wants to crack a joke. She wants to break this tension, the gravity of this whole conversation. She doesn’t like dealing with emotions and Kelley has just made her face some without her even realizing what was going on. 

“Thought I was horrible,” Emily says, but it comes out weak, almost like a question, almost like she needs the reassurance. 

Kelley doesn’t laugh. She doesn’t chuckle or crack a grin. She just leans forward and presses her lips to Emily’s cheek. “Not at all,” she assures her. 

And then Kelley is leaning back and grinning and saying, “Think you’re up for me kicking your ass at Mario Kart?” 

Emily feels like her head is spinning. There’s a strange feeling settling in her stomach and it’s almost like she doesn’t really understand exactly what just happened, but she’s done enough facing feelings for one day. She nods and grins. “You wish. My turn to kick ass.”

  
  


Kelley leaves. 

She’s expecting. 

She wants it, even. 

It means her life can start to settle back to normal, that she can take the time to process actually being single and alone. It means she can throw herself into training and soccer and really push herself to get back to where she needs to be. She’s better. Her stamina is coming back and her legs don’t burn as quickly and her control is more precise again, but she’s not where she was. 

Still, when she drops Kelley at the airport, hopping out to get Kelley’s suitcase out of the back for her when she’s perfectly capable of doing it herself, there’s this kind of nauseous dread in the pit of her stomach. 

It’s stupid.

She’ll see Kelley soon enough. Her ankle is doing better. She’s close to getting cleared and as soon as she is they’ll be in camps together. Besides, it’s not like they can’t text or facetime or whatever. They stay in touch. They always do. 

It’s just, it’s been nice. It’s been almost three whole weeks of Kelley staying with her, Kelley caring for her, Kelley’s easy conversation and vibrant laughter, Kelley’s bright eyes and warm presence. 

It’s natural that she’s going to miss her. 

She pulls Kelley into a tight hug, holding her close, squeezing maybe a little too tightly, but Kelley doesn’t complain. 

Kelley hugs her back just as tight. She holds on past what might be considered a normal length for a goodbye hug between friends, but Emily’s sure that it’s only Kelley’s way of saying she’s going to miss her too. 

Kelley’s lips are warm on her temple, lingering just a moment, and then Kelley is pulling away with a smile and saying, “Don’t miss me too much.”

Emily manages to laugh. She manages to say, “Who says I’ll miss you at all?” 

Kelley’s laughter is loud and free and it crinkles the corners of her eyes, and Emily’s not really sure she’s ever really noticed how attractive that is. 

“Be good, Son. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”

With that, Kelley blows her a kiss and turns to head into the airport. 

“That doesn’t leave me much!” Emily hollers after her just before the glass doors slide shut behind her. 

It’s another few seconds later when Emily realizes that she’s still staring after her, that she’s in the passenger dropoff zone and there are people who want her spot waiting impatiently in their cars. She hurries back into the driver’s seat, but glances back at the airport. 

There’s an unfamiliar ache in her chest. It’s not something she’s ever felt saying goodbye to Kelley before. It’s like a sense of foreboding, like something bad is about to happen. She tries to shake it off with an uneasy breath, and then she puts the car into drive and pulls away, leaving Kelley and her own weirdness behind. 

  
  


“You’re getting it back,” Lindsey pants. 

“Slowly,” Emily groans. Her speed. That’s what’s still missing. She’s getting the control and the stamina, but her limbs feel impossibly slow still. It’s making her miss connections she wouldn’t have before. It’s beyond frustrating. 

“You got the ball from Christine,” Lindsey points out. “And you almost scored.”

“And then Menges happened.”

“To be fair, Menges happens to all of us at some point.”

Emily nods. “Okay, true.”

“She’s like a stealth defender. You think you’re in the clear and then she’s there and she doesn’t even touch you but the ball’s no longer at your feet,” Lindsey laments. 

“So you’re saying I should have her teach me her ways?” Emily asks. 

“No. You’re effective enough as you are, thank you very much,” Lindsey is quick to reply, and Emily laughs. “You’re getting there, Dasani. Have a little patience with yourself,” Lindsey advises. 

“Yeah. I’ll try.”

“Maybe you can do some practice with Kelley,” Lindsey suggests. 

Emily frowns. There’s this tug in her chest at the mention of Kelley’s name. Or maybe it’s just the assumption that she’s still here that bothers her. 

(Except it’s something else, too. Some thought gnawing at the back of her mind that she can’t pinpoint, like she’s trying to listen to it with clogged ears.)

“Kelley left. She’s heading to Utah for a bit, then home to visit her parents.”

Lindsey’s eyebrows raise in surprise. “Oh.”

There’s something in the way she says it. It makes Emily feel tense. 

“What?”

Lindsey shakes her head. “Nothing.”

“No, it’s something. What?” Emily presses. 

“Sonny, it’s nothing,” Lindsey replies. “I just didn’t know. That’s all.”

“Oh,” Emily replies, but she’s still suspicious. “Well, yeah. She left the other day.”

“Okay.”

There’s an awkwardness to the conversation now, and when Kling beckons for Emily to go over she can’t get up and away fast enough. She doesn’t know what that was about. She doesn’t know that she wants to find out. 

  
  


** _[Ms. Kelley 8:30 p.m.]_ ** _ How was practice today? You meg Tobin for me? _

** _[Dancing Queen 8:31 p.m.]_ ** _ Ha, no, but she got me twice.  _

** _[Dancing Queen 8:32 p.m.]_ ** _ Practice is getting better, I guess. Still not where I want to be. _

** _[Ms. Kelley 8:33 p.m.]_ ** _ I know how that feels. _

Emily looks at the picture that comes with the text. It’s Kelley’s bare legs from just above the knee down, and Emily knows she means that her ankles are still holding her back, but suddenly she’s struck by just how nice Kelley’s legs are. All toned muscles and smooth skin and faint freckles brought out by too much time in the sun in shorts. It’s not-

She shouldn’t really be thinking about Kelley’s legs like that, though. It’s weird. It’s-

It’s not like she never notices when friends are attractive though. 

It’s nothing. That’s what it is. 

** _[Dancing Queen 8:36 p.m.]_ ** _ You’ll be back at it soon.  _

** _[Ms. Kelley 8:37 p.m.]_ ** _ Fingers crossed.  _

Lindsey’s strangeness from practice earlier springs to mind and before she’s really thought about it, she’s typing about it to Kelley. 

** _[Dancing Queen 8:38 p.m.]_ ** _ Lindsey got weird when I said you weren’t here anymore. I don’t know why. Did you forget to say goodbye to her? _

A response is slow coming and Emily almost forgets that she’s asked as she gets sucked into the Netflix show she’s watching. 

** _[Ms. Kelley 8:52 p.m.]_ ** _ Weird how? Didn’t know she was gonna miss me so much, lol. Should I text her? _

** _[Dancing Queen 8:53 p.m.]_ ** _ Just...weird. I dunno. No don’t text her. Maybe I just imagined it. _

She shouldn’t have brought it up. It was nothing. She’d probably read too much into Lindsey’s tone of voice. 

** _[Ms. Kelley 8:57 p.m.]_ ** _ How much do YOU miss me? _

It’s just a joke. It’s a teasing question. Emily’s heard her ask Allie the same thing after ten minutes out of the room. It’s just a joke and it should be making her laugh and instead it makes her swallow hard and choose the words for her response carefully. She doesn’t really know why. She’s not sure she really WANTS to know why. 

** _[Dancing Queen 8:59 p.m.]_ ** _ Who are you again? _

** _[Ms. Kelley 9:01 p.m.]_ ** _ *Gasp* See if I come nurse you back to health next time! _

Emily grins as she reads Kelley’s text. 

** _[Dancing Queen 9:02 p.m.]_ ** _ Ok ok 15/10 _

When Kelley sends back a kissy face emoji, Emily grins a little wider. 

  
  


“What’s so funny?” Tobin leans over her shoulder, and Emily slams her phone into her stomach to hide the screen. 

It’s way too much of a reaction. She doesn’t even know why she does it. It’s literally just a stupid meme that Kelley sent her. It’s not even really that funny, but it’s relevant to the conversation they were having the other night and the context makes her laugh. 

“Um, just Kelley,” Emily mutters, feeling her cheeks flush. 

And that’s...Well, it’s new. It’s very unexpected and kind of unwelcome and Emily doesn’t want to think about what it might mean. She’s used to having someone, that’s all. And Kelley has been texting her pretty regularly since she left. More than she used to, anyway. Emily’s sure it’s just to make sure she’s still coping with everything okay. 

“Ah,” Tobin says with a knowing nod. 

There’s something in the way that Tobin acts like that explains absolutely everything with no follow up questions that gets under Emily’s skin a little. 

“What do you mean ‘ah’?” she demands. 

Tobin just looks at her for a long moment and then she says, “Nothing. Kel’s funny, that’s all.”

“That’s not what you meant.” Emily’s not really sure why she’s being so confrontational about something so little. It’s Tobin. Tobin her friend. Tobin her mentor. She probably didn’t mean anything by it. 

Tobin squints at her, her lips pursed. “You two been texting a lot?”

Emily shrugs. “Not, like, an unreasonable amount.”

“Ok,” Tobin replies with a shrug of her own. 

“What are you trying to suggest, Tobin?”

“Nothing, Emily. Why’re you being so defensive?”

“I’m not,” Emily replies quickly, not missing Tobin’s use of her actual name. 

“Glad we sorted that out,” Tobin replies with a roll of her eyes. 

Emily takes a deep breath and tries to calm herself down before she does something she regrets for reasons she doesn’t understand. 

She feels her phone vibrate where she still has it clasped to her stomach and risks a glance. It’s a selfie of Kelley, goofy smile on her face, giving a thumbs up to the camera, Katie and Lo making faces over her shoulder. It’s ridiculous and so very Kelley. A follow up text comes a moment later. 

** _[Ms. Kelley 12:34 p.m.]_ ** _ Our locker room is more fun than yours! _

She snorts, a grin back on her face and the tension from a moment before easing in her chest. 

“Kelley again?” Tobin asks. 

Emily’s first instinct is to lie, but then she wouldn’t be able to convince Tobin to help her with a retaliatory picture that proves Kelley wrong. She lets out a sigh and nods. “Yeah,” she confirms, turning the phone enough that Tobin can see. 

Tobin lets out a laugh, too, and that makes Emily feel a little better, like maybe she’s not being weird about anything after all. “Well, we obviously can’t let her get away with that claim,” Tobin says. 

“Yes. Exactly. Help me wrangle the troops,” Emily replies. 

Tobin laughs again and pats Emily on the back and everything is fine and everything is normal. 

Until Tobin leans in after they’ve taken an absolutely ridiculous group picture and says, “Kelley’s really one of a kind.”

And Emily has no idea how to take that at all. 

  
  


“Tobin said you kicked butt at practice today.”

The words spark a ball of anxiety in the pit of her stomach, and the words, “Tobin talks to you about me?” squeak out before she can think better of it. 

Kelley frowns adorably through the phone screen, holding it a little too close so that it’s focused on her furrowed brows and pretty hazel eyes. “You two play together. Your name does come up from time to time,” Kelley points out. “Besides, I asked how you were doing, knowing that you were only going to give me an overly critical view of it.”

And that- That hits differently, but leaves her just as tense. 

“Oh,” she replies.

Kelley’s giving her a kind of funny look now, and Emily holds the phone a little further away so that she hopefully won’t be able to notice the faint blush on her cheeks. 

“Oh! Did I tell you about Isabella?”

Kelley’s frown returns and she says, “Who?” 

Emily flips the phone around and wanders over by the window where Isabella is drinking in the sunlight, green leaves looking perky and happy. “My new plant! Isabella!”

There’s a slight laugh and then Kelley says, “She’s beautiful!” 

When Emily turns the phone back to face her, she’s beaming and Kelley grins a little wider. 

It makes Emily’s heart skip a little beat, seeing her look so happy. 

Which is not a normal reaction, she realizes. 

It’s-

No. 

It’s nothing.

It’s fine. 

It doesn’t mean anything.

  
  


“Earth to Sonnett!” Caitlin waves a hand in front of her face. 

Emily blinks hard and looks at her friends. 

“What kind of food do you want? Thai or Chinese?” Caitlin repeats her question. 

“Oh, um, Thai,” she replies. 

“Where were you right now?” Ellie asks, looking at her suspiciously. 

Emily feels her cheeks flush. She doesn’t want to answer. “Nowhere. Just thinking.”

“About…?” Hayley prompts. 

“Just stuff,” she mumbles, feeling her cheeks heat up more. 

Lindsey’s giving her a funny look though. It’s a KNOWING look. There’s a half smirk on her face and her blue eyes are bright as she suggests. “Were you thinking about someONE, Dasani?”

“No,” Emily replies far too quickly, so of course her friends immediately latch on to it. 

“Does Sonnett have a crush?” Hayley asks. 

“Is it on me?” Caitlin follows up. “It’s okay if it’s on me, darlin’. I don’t mind.”

Emily laughs and gives Caitlin a little shove. 

“It’s not a crush,” she says, but it’s a lie. She doesn’t want it to be a lie, but it is. She’s caught herself recently. She stares a little too long at the selfies that Kelley sends. She smiles a little too wide whenever Kelley’s name pops up on her phone. It’s-

It’s an issue. 

It’s an issue that she’s trying her very best to ignore. It’s not a real crush. She’s not that far off a relationship and Kelley just happens to be the one who’s been around the most recently, who’s been making sure to keep in contact. That’s all. It’s a rebound crush, and Kelley deserves so much more than to be someone’s rebound crush. 

“I think it’s about time,” Lindsey declares. “You and Clara broke up almost three months ago. It’s about time you started looking around again.”

“We were together over a year,” Emily replies defensively but she doesn’t really feel all that defensive. 

“Yeah but you were checked out for a while before you broke up,” Lindsey accuses. 

“What? No I wasn’t,” Emily counters, this time legitimately feeling her hackles rise. 

Her friends all exchange a look and then shoot her apologetic smiles. 

“I wasn’t,” Emily argues again, but when she thinks about it, maybe her friends are more right than she wants to admit. “On purpose,” she adds. 

“Anyway, it’s nice to see you smiling and blushy,” Ellie says. “It’s cute.”

“Who is it?” Hayley asks. 

“It’s no one. It’s not a crush. I don’t- I don’t have a crush,” Emily lies. 

“Me thinks the lady doth protest too much,” Caitlin says. 

“Can we just drop it?” Emily whines. 

“Nope,” Ellie and Caitlin reply in unison, and Hayley’s grinning like she agrees. 

Emily turns to Lindsey for support, but that was a mistake. That was a mistake because Lindsey’s eyes are bright and mischievous and there’s the hint of a smirk on her lips. That was a mistake because Lindsey KNOWS. There’s no doubt about it, but when Lindsey mouths “Kelley” Emily feels her heart start to race and heat burn across her cheeks. 

She looks away quickly. “Come on, please? I thought we were ordering food. I’m hungry.”

She lets out a shaky breath only when her friends steer away from the subject and she doesn’t make eye contact with Lindsey for the rest of the night. 

  
  


She thinks about her first thing in the morning. She picks up her phone to text her and puts it down again as soon as she realizes what she’s doing. 

This isn’t- She shouldn’t-

Rebound, she tells herself again, but it feels more and more like a lie. 

Kelley’s going to start thinking she clingy. She’s going to be like “why does Sonny text me first thing every day?” SHE’S going to figure it out. 

She needs to stop. She needs to stop and get over this before it ruins one of her best friendships. She needs to stop before this gets in the way of her job.

Kelley texts her an hour later and she forces herself to not look at it for a few minutes, to not check what she might have sent. When she DOES look and she sees the meme and laughs her fingers are already typing out a response, but she catches herself before she can send it. She can send it in a bit. She doesn’t have to respond practically right away. It’s fine. Instead she washes her dishes and chops up vegetables to cook later and makes a smoothie. 

She doesn’t make the Ms. Kelley special smoothie.

She thinks about her anyway. 

  
  


“You’re being weird,” Lindsey accuses. 

“I’m not being weird,” Emily replies, not even sure what the accusation is grounded in. 

“You are, though.”

Emily sticks out her tongue and Lindsey does the same in return. 

Emily’s phone vibrates where it sits upside down on the coffee table and Lindsey looks at her expectantly. 

“What?” Emily asks. 

“Seriously?” Lindsey demands. 

“What??” 

Lindsey gives her a pointed look. “Sonnett, that is like the fifth time your phone has vibrated and you KEEP looking at the phone but not checking the messages. What is going on?”

“Nothing,” Emily lies. 

She picks up the phone and tells herself that her heart doesn’t race when she has four texts waiting from Kelley. She doesn’t read them, though. She puts her phone back down, upside down so she can’t see the screen. 

Lindsey looks at her like she’s sprouted a second head. “What are you doing?”

“Hanging out with you?” Emily suggests. 

“And ignoring Kelley?”

Emily’s heart rate picks up even more and she can feel a blush starting on her cheeks. “Who says it’s Kelley?”

Lindsey rolls her eyes. “Um, because that’s who you text most of the time these days? And you got that goofy little grin on your face when you looked at your phone?”

“I didn’t!” 

Lindsey sighs. “Sonny, you’re allowed to have a crush.”

“I don’t.”

“Oh, but you really do,” Lindsey counters. “And it’s okay.”

“Look, having crushes is okay, but having a crush on Kelley? Is stupid.”

Lindsey balks at that. “What? Why? Kelley’s hot.”

It’s Emily’s turn to roll her eyes. “For starters, she’s a lot more than just hot. And secondly because we work together? Because we live in different cities? Because I’m just rebounding and having a crush on her could get messy and awkward and affect my job?”

“Or you could be the next Ali and Ash,” Lindsey counters. “Badass power couple of soccer.”

Emily laughs. There’s no other appropriate reaction. Even IF Emily admits her crush, it’s not like Kelley likes her back. And even if she did-

It just wouldn’t work. They wouldn’t work. There are too many obstacles in the way and too many-

“And you’re not rebounding,” Lindsey adds. 

“Lindsey, it’s just- I can’t have a crush on her.”

Lindsey rolls her eyes again. “Well, you do.” She picks up Emilly’s phone and drops it into her lap. “And you should text her back. Don’t play games. THAT is what you shouldn’t do. Just text her like a normal person. Or better yet? Talk to her.”

“I am NOT telling her that I have a crush on her!”

Lindsey grins. “You just admitted it.”

“Fuck,” Emily groans when she realizes that Lindsey’s right. “Linds, this isn’t funny. It’s- I can’t have a crush on her, okay? I just- I don’t want to.”

“Yeah, I don’t think hearts actually take instructions like that.” Lindsey pats her leg sympathetically. “Now text her back.”

Emily sighs, but she can tell that Lindsey isn’t going to drop it until she does. She picks up her phone and reads the texts from Kelley. 

She hates herself a little when she catches herself grinning like an idiot. 

  
  


“Yo, why aren’t you texting Kelley back?” Tobin asks, plopping down beside her in the grass. 

Emily startles. “What?”

“Kel said you’re like barely texting her back right now. What gives?” Tobin prods, poking Emily in the shin. 

“I- Wait, she texted you about that?” Emily asks. She feels like she’s missing something important all of a sudden. 

Tobin gives Emily a look that says that that really isn’t the point. Except that Emily remembers Tobin mentioning them talking about her before and now-

Now she needs to know what Tobin knows. She needs to know what they talk about. She feels like if she knows, if Tobin just tells her, then maybe she’ll actually be able to sort out whatever the hell is going on in her head about Kelley. 

“Okay, how often exactly do you guys talk about me?”

Emily knows she’s hitting on something when Tobin squirms a little uncomfortably. She shrugs and tries to play it off. “You come up sometimes,” Tobin says. 

“Do you bring me up or does she?” Emily presses. 

Tobin sighs and looks at her hard for a long moment. “Son, why does this matter to you so much?” 

There’s a glint in her eyes that Emily’s seen before, and she can place it now. Tobin knows. Just like Lindsey knew. And if they both know, if she’s been that obvious about it-

She feels a little nauseous at the thought. “I just- I just need to know.”

“Because you care,” Tobin says. 

Emily nods. Just slightly. Just barely, but it’s a confirmation nonetheless and she feels a little out of control having the information out there. 

“About Kelley,” Tobin continues, just so there’s no equivocation about what she meant. 

Emily swallows hard and nods again. 

Tobin pauses for another moment, studying her, and then says, “Son, why do you think Kelley is the person I texted to come help take care of you when you were sick?”

Emily frowns. “Because she was injured so she had the time?”

“Pinoe’s injured, too, and she lives a hell of a lot closer,” Tobin counters. 

Emily hadn’t thought of that before. 

“Why do you think Kelley dropped everything and flew across the country to help you out?” Tobin asks. 

“Because she’s a good friend. She’s generous like that-”

“And she stayed three weeks,” Tobin adds. “Even after you would have been fine on your own.”

“We were having fun and it wasn’t quite three weeks,” Emily replies meekly, but it feels more like she’s trying to convince herself of things she was sure were true just a few minutes ago. 

“Sonny, I say this with all the love: you’re an idiot.” Tobin pats her knee and offers a sympathetic smile like she hasn’t just exploded Emily’s entire world with a few questions. 

  
  


She types out the words, “Do you like me?” and deletes them ten times before she hurls her phone across her bed. It’s so stupid. She can’t just text that. Especially not out of the blue. Especially not after more or less ignoring Kelley for a week in an attempt to distance herself from her some and get over this stupid crush. 

Except now the question is burning its way through her brain and she doesn’t know what to do about it. She doesn’t know if it’s okay to hope, okay to want. What if Tobin’s wrong? What if Tobin’s reading too much into Kelley being a good person? 

What if Tobin’s not wrong, though?

Does that mean- Does Kelley really- 

No. No. Because there are still so many obstacles in the way. Kelley’s ankles are better. She just got cleared. She’ll be back to playing. Her schedule will be hectic. Emily’s schedule will be hectic in a different city in a different state. They play together. They work together. And then half the time they don’t. It’s not just them, it’s their jobs and their teammates and so many other factors. It’s too complicated. It’s too much. 

Emily just needs to forget about it. She needs to focus on soccer. 

And yet, when she drifts off to sleep that night, she finds herself wondering, “What if?”

  
  


** _[Ms. Kelley 3:16 p.m.]_ ** _ 2 days! _

Emily smiles despite her goal not to. Two days until they fly to Houston for camp. Two days until she gets to see Kelley again. 

She’s a nervous wreck. 

She types out, “Can’t wait!” and deletes it again. She tries, “Looking forward to it!” but it sounds so formal and stiff. Finally she settles on, “See you there!”

It doesn’t feel like enough, but she can’t get out of her head about every single word she types. She’s been better. She’s been trying to be better, anyway. She’s been trying to text back quicker, not stopping herself as much when she thinks, “I should tell Kelley”. Knowing that Kelley noticed is enough that she had to change it back, at least a little. She feels like she can’t text normally, though. It was easy before, and now she analyzes every phrase she writes, wondering if it will give her away, if Kelley will know, if Kelley will be okay with it, if Kelley will welcome it. 

It’s too much and it’s too in her head and she doesn’t know how to stop it, and now she’s going to see Kelley in two days. 

Maybe she’ll luck out. Maybe she’ll get sick again. 

Kelley sends back a grinning emoji and Emily feels tension curl tight and hot under her skin as she once again fails to control her smile. 

  
  


She’s not avoiding her. She tells herself she’s not avoiding her when she heads straight to her room and properly unpacks for a change rather than just living out of her suitcase for the next week. 

She checks instagram. She checks twitter. She checks instagram again. 

She opens up her texts and reads the last message from Kelley again. It’s just a “SEE YOU SOON!” and a kissy face emoji. It’s not like they’ve never sent that too each other before, but now-

Now Emily is second-guessing everything. 

  
  


Sam comes and goes, unpacking slightly, her naturally nervous energy only feeding into Emily’s anxiety. She tries to convince her to come to Lindsey and AD’s room for a bit, but Emily pretends she has a headache. 

It’s not that she’s not excited to see people, but her nerves are winning out. 

She might bump into Kelley. She’s not sure she’s ready. She doesn’t know what to say. She doesn’t know if she can force her smile and hide her feelings with Kelley anymore. 

It’s kind of terrifying. 

Her phone vibrates approximately five minutes after Sam leaves. 

** _[Linessi 5:33 p.m.]_ ** _ Stop hiding.  _

Emily rolls her eyes, but doesn’t reply. 

** _[Linessi 5:37 p.m.] _ ** _ Kelley isn’t even in our room. _

** _[Dasani 5:37 p.m.]_ ** _ I have a headache. _

** _[Linessi 5:38 p.m.]_ ** _ Yeah, Sammy passed along your lie. Your headache is self-induced from stressing yourself out. Just come hang out.  _

Emily leaves it again. 

** _[Linessi 5:45 p.m.]_ ** _ Fine, but just know you asked for this.  _

Emily is just typing back “For what?” when there’s a knock on her hotel room door. 

Her heart starts to pound faster in her chest and her mouth goes dry. She knows even before she hears her voice who it is. 

She hears the click of the door unlocking and knows that Sam gave her her key. She makes a mental note to murder her later. 

“Knock. Knock! I hope you’re decent cause I’m coming in!” Kelley calls, and then she’s there, standing in Emily’s room. All tanned, freckled skin that stands out against her white T-shirt and bright hazel eyes and a smirk on perfect pink lips. All muscles and poise and energy that Emily can feel from across the fucking room. “So, I have been instructed to get you out of the room to come socialize by any means necessary,” Kelley informs her, crossing easily to her bed and plopping herself down on it. 

Emily sits up straighter, pulling her knees up to her chest and watches Kelley. She should say something. She should respond. She’s making this weird. 

“Hi,” she manages, her voice coming out a little hoarse. 

Kelley gives her a funny look. “Hello,” she replies. “Come on. Take some ibuprofen or whatever and get up. Let’s go.”

“Um…” Emily starts, but she has no follow up and her brain just doesn’t feel like it’s working properly. 

Kelley looks at her expectantly. Her eyes are this kind of golden-y green in the light from the window and they’re staring at her so intensely from so close. There’s this expression in them that almost feels like it’s daring her to do something or say something, but Emily has no idea what to say. 

“Sonny,” Kelley coaxes, and maybe it’s Emily’s imagination, but her voice sounds a little lower. 

“Yeah.”

Kelley hesitates, just for a second, then says, “Do I get a hug? I mean I nursed you back to health and I haven’t seen you in months now and I haven’t even gotten a hug hello.” 

She wants to say, “No.” She wants to say, “I’m not ready.” Instead she says, “Right, yeah. Of course.” 

She puts her legs down and scoots forward and Kelley pulls her into what is possibly the most awkward hug she’s ever had. 

Except it’s not really that awkward. It’s just in her head. Kelley’s arms are warm and her breath hits Emily’s neck in hot puffs and she smells good - like clean laundry and a fresh-scented shampoo. And Emily has never felt this much hugging her before. It’s overwhelming. 

She pulls away too quickly, and Kelley’s giving her a funny look again, her brows a little furrowed, her lips slightly pursed. 

“You okay, Son?”

Emily nods. “Yeah, just...You know, adjusting to life at camp instead of life at home.”

“Are you worried about being at camp after being sick? Because you’ve been back on form. I watched your last few games, and they wouldn’t have called you in if they didn’t think you could handle it-”

“No, that’s not it,” she replies, realizing a moment too late that Kelley just gave her an out for her weird behavior and she didn’t take it. She closes her eyes for a moment and breathes out slowly, trying to will her idiocy away. 

“Then what?” Kelley’s hand on her arm is meant to be comforting, she’s sure, but the touch burns into her skin and sets her heart racing even faster. 

She opens her eyes and looks at it, looks at Kelley’s fingers, slim, but strong with short nails. She feels the blush spread across her cheeks and the tension pooling low in her gut and she wishes that she wasn’t thinking quite so hard about Kelley’s fingers and what they might be able to do. When she shifts her gaze back up to Kelley’s eyes, she thinks maybe Kelley knows. There’s the trace of a hint on her lips and she has one eyebrow raised like maybe she’s wondering something specific, and it only serves to make Emily blush more. 

“Nothing,” she lies. “Let’s go to Sam’s room. It’ll be good to see people.”

She’s up and halfway across the room before she feels Kelley’s hand grab her wrist and spin her around to face her and suddenly Kelley is very in her space. Kelley’s eyes are boring into hers and they’re so close that they’re breathing the same air, Kelley’s breath falling hot against her lips. It would be so easy, take so little-

There’s a moment when all Emily can do is look. She looks and she wants and she’s sure it’s written all over her face. Kelley’s tongue darts out to wet her lips and Emily’s eyes fall to Kelley’s mouth like a magnet. 

So easy. So close. 

And then Kelley’s lips are pressing into hers, a little wet, slightly parted. The kiss is firm but her lips are soft and inviting, and Emily leans into it, embarrassed when a needy whimper escapes her lips. 

Kelley pulls back far too quickly and Emily starts to chase the kiss before she remembers where they are and who she’s with and what exactly she’s doing, and then her eyes go wide and she just stares again. 

Kelley’s got a smirk on her lips and she reaches out to wipe her thumb along the bottom edge of Emily’s lips. 

“Just so we’re on the same page and you’re not relying on big-mouthed Tobin’s word for it: I like you, Emily.” 

Emily. Just the use of her name sends a shiver down her spine, and then Kelley’s words sink in. 

Kelley’s already brushing past her, heading for the door and saying, “Come on, let’s go be social,” and Emily’s head is reeling, trying to absorb what really just happened, what Kelley’s words really mean. 

Her heart is hammering in her chest so loudly Kelley can probably hear it where she’s holding the hotel room door open, waiting for her. 

“You coming?” Kelley asks. 

Emily tells her feet to move. She tells her mouth to close and her eyes to pop back into her head because she probably looks ridiculous. She clears her throat and swallows hard and tries to remember how to function like a normal human. 

“Yeah,” she mumbles, her voice hoarse. She clears her throat and tries again. “Yeah.” It sounds better. 

She looks at Kelley who’s still smirking at her, a knowing glint in her eyes, and she feels heat pool low in her gut. 

She feels something else, too. She feels a burst of bravery, a need to rise to the challenge in Kelley’s eyes. She makes her way to the door and laces her fingers easily through Kelley’s fingers, taking satisfaction in the way that Kelley’s eyes widen momentarily, ignoring the way the touch excites every particle of her being. 

“Come on,” she says, giving Kelley’s hand a little tug. 

Kelley’s grinning as she lets herself be led into the hall. 

  
  


They don’t talk about it. 

They don’t really have a chance to. There’s always someone around and the training is intense with doubles every few days. When they’re not training there are meetings and team-building activities and tapes to review. It doesn’t leave a lot of energy for...other things. 

Besides, there’s no girlfriends at camp. 

What they do have is stolen moments. 

They lock eyes across the breakfast table and just for a moment Kelley grins and Emily blushes and then Rose is showing them her newest picture of Wilma and the moment is gone. 

They smile at each other as they lace up their boots on the bench, arms barely grazing against each other in a way that’s completely innocent and yet makes goosebumps appear on Emily’s arm. 

They sit next to each other at the team dinner out and their pinkies brush under the table as they talk and laugh with other people. 

Kelley helps her up after a hard tackle, hand strong and soft, touch lingering for a moment longer than necessary, but not so long as to make anyone notice. 

She catches Kelley’s eyes on her stomach as she changes after practice, feeling her gaze burn over her skin, feeling the heat of it settling low. 

They don’t talk about it, but their bodies have a dozen little conversations a day without words. 

  
  


Kelley shows up at her room early on their first rest day and dangles the keys to the team van in front of her. 

“Come on,” she whispers, careful not to wake up Sam who’s still snoring in her bed. 

Emily feels a slight thrill run through her as she follows Kelley out of her room, down the hall, down to the lobby, and out to the parking lot. 

They’re in the van and driving away and Emily still hasn’t even asked what they’re doing or where they’re going, but honestly she’s not sure she cares. 

Kelley shoots her a grin as she stops at a stop sign and Emily’s heart rate soars. 

They haven’t said it, but it feels like a date. 

  
  


Emily feels a thrill in her chest as they stroll along a trail at Buffalo Bayou Park. Their pace is slow and steady, their strides evenly matched, their steps falling at the same time, echoing against the path as one. Their arms brush against each other often enough that it’s intentional rather than accidental. 

They’re not talking about anything important. It’s more taking in the sights, pointing out a cluster of flowers here or a cute dog there or the way the sunlight catches the leaves of the trees as they walk under them. It’s musings about soccer and camp and laughing about Rose’s epic miss of the ball yesterday. 

Kelley points off the path and Emily sees it, the word planted in the ground, the morning sunlight casting its shadow behind it. 

“Explore,” Emily reads. “Fitting.”

Kelley grins, then laces her fingers through Emily’s and drags her towards the word. 

They walk all around it, Kelley’s hand not leaving her own, and despite the heat of the Houston morning, this is the first time that Emily has felt properly hot. 

“I think there are more,” Kelley says. “Let’s find them.” 

They walk the trail more vigilantly, but still hand in hand. Their shoulders bump and Emily feels the silences stretching between them as they search weighing on her. 

“Let’s play a game,” Kelley declares, squeezing her hand, as if letting her know that she wasn’t the only one who had noticed the silence as they looked for more word sculptures. 

“What kind of a game?”

“Truth or dare without the dare,” Kelley says. 

“So...truth, then?” 

“Yes. We each get...ten questions. And whatever it is we answer truthfully.”

Emily hesitates, but then Kelley adds, “and we each get two passes.”

“Okay.”

Kelley grins at her and it feels a little dangerous, a little daring. Emily’s already regretting this game. 

  
  


“What’s your favorite childhood memory that doesn’t involve Emma?” Kelley asks. 

Emily frowns. So much of her life was spent with Emma at her side. It was really only once they went off to college that they spent any considerable time apart. Sure, they’d eventually been put in different classes in school and made their own friends, but there was still so much overlap, especially with them both playing soccer. “Hmmm...umm….like Emma wasn’t there at all? Because, you know, first goal I ever scored was a pretty good moment, but Emma was there on the field with me.”

Kelley scrunches up her face as if she’s considering the answer. She doesn’t look satisfied. “I guess, it kind of counts, but I meant just something that was just you.” 

Emily biites her lip as something occurs to her. She’s not sure it’s really a great first date response, but then again she’s not entirely sure this is actually a first date. 

“Summer camp when we were 9. They put Emma and I in different cabins and there was this girl in mine. She was 11 and so cool, like I wanted to be just like her. Or I thought I did. Anyway, she, for whatever reason, decided that she liked goofy little me and so we’d hang out a lot. Emma was kind of jealous actually, though obviously nobody could ever replace the twin bond. So one night just as I was falling asleep she woke me up and we sneaked out and went to the lake and were like skipping stones and talking and then we laid out in the grass and looked at the stars and - Well, then she kissed me. I didn’t realize I had a crush on her until that exact moment and it was just like a peck on the lips, but I...I mean I guess it was the first time I really realized I like girls. It was kind of shocking, but at the same time I just remember feeling warm all over and like grinning like an idiot. So, yeah...”

Kelley’s looking at her with this amused look on her face and she trails off, feeling self-conscious. 

“That’s really cute,” Kelley says.

“Shut up,” she replies, nudging Kelley in the side with her elbow. “Hey, look! Pause!”

“Pause?” 

Emily points to the word sculpture. 

“Oh! Pause!” Kelley reads. She pulls Emily over, their game momentarily forgotten as Kelley says, “We’d better do what it says,” and Emily laughs. 

  
  


“Your turn,” Kelley says, nudging Emily gently. 

“Huh?”

“Your turn to ask me a truth,” Kelley replies.

There’s an obvious question burning at the tip of her tongue, but she bites it back. She’s not sure they’re really ready to address whatever is happening here yet. 

“What’s your biggest fear?”

“Oh, sure, head straight to the serious stuff,” Kelley teases. “Hmmm...You mean besides a career-ending injury?” 

Emily nods. That’s a constant in any athlete’s life. She wants something...more personal. 

“I think just losing someone I care about,” Kelley replies after a brief pause. “I can’t- I don’t like to think about it, you know? Obviously we’re all mortal. We’ll all die sometime, but, like - It stresses me out when my parents bring up their wills. Or when they tell us to talk about who wants what in the house… I don’t know. I just- I want the people I love to live forever with me. Selfish, I know, but…” Kelley shrugs. 

“Are you implying you’re immortal?” Emily asks to change the mood of the conversation. 

Kelley laughs, just like Emily hoped she would. “Well obviously!”

  
  


They find the word “Reflect” next. It’s sheltered by some trees and as the sun rises higher in the sky and the temperature increases, they find themselves happy to linger in the shade for a bit. 

“Worst first date?” Kelley asks. 

Emily’s drawing pictures in the dirt with a stick, but she pauses as she considers her options. 

“Probably this guy in high school. He liked me a lot more than I liked him-”

“Obviously,” Kelley cuts in, and Emily laughs. 

“Look, I was still properly figuring things out, okay? Anyway, he spent the whole date trying to impress me with talks about his bowling trophies, and when I tried to talk to him about soccer he blew it off saying the women’s game wasn’t really that competitive-”

“HA! Can I have his name and number? I’d like to have some words with him.”

Emily laughs and leans into Kelley. She doesn’t miss the way that Kelley’s hand settles in the dirt behind her, almost wrapping around her, but not quite. 

“Yeah, wait, it gets worse. He ended the night by catching me by surprise with a kiss that was not only something I didn’t really want, but felt like he was trying to suck my face off. Emma saved me by interrupting and I have never been more thankful.”

“Okay, I might actually want to punch him,” Kelley amends. 

“Violence is not the answer,” Emily says. 

“Says the girl whose slide tackles take out more ankles than mine do.”

Emily laughs again. “Okay, my turn. What’s something that nobody else on the team knows about you?” 

Kelley thinks for a long moment, her eyes tracing over the sculpted letters in front of them, and Emily can’t take her eyes off of her face. She can’t stop thinking about the spattering of freckles across her nose and the way her cheeks are a little flushed from the heat and the way her lips are slightly parted.

Finally Kelley turns her eyes to her, a smirk on her lips, and says, “I’ve kissed you.”

Emily feels the words all the way down to her toes as warmth that has nothing to do with the sun floods through her. “Something else,” Emily murmurs, aware of the blush creeping across her cheeks. “Something I didn’t already know.”

Kelley shifts closer, her eyes holding Emily’s gaze. They’re darker in the shade, more brown than green today, but with flecks of gold still visible, and she’s close enough that Emily can make out the patterns in her irises. Kelley’s eyes flutter closed and she leans in, her lips ghosting against the shell of Emily’s ear as she whispers, “I want to kiss you again. Everywhere.”

Emily’s eyes go wide and she bites down on her lower lip to stop herself from saying something stupid as a shiver runs down her spine. 

And then Kelley is leaning back and jumping to her feet and holding out her hand. “Shall we keep walking?” she offers. 

It takes Emily another second to remember how to breathe properly, but she takes the offered hand and stands. “Sure,” she replies with a shaky voice. 

  
  


They make their way through two more word sculptures and four more questions each. Emily can’t help noticing that despite the bravery she’d displayed in the trees, Kelley is keeping her questions and her answers safer now. They’re steering away from anything involving the two of them, but that avoidance hangs loudly in the air between them.

“Want some lunch?” Kelley asks, checking her watch. “It’s kind of late. I guess I lost track of time a bit,” she says, and it feels like she’s saying, “I lose track of time when I’m with you.”

Emily’s breath hitches, but she nods. “Yeah. Food would be good.”

“Okay, your turn. What’s something about you that nobody else on the team knows?” Kelley asks around a mouthful of her southwestern grain bowl. 

Emily feels her cheeks flush. A few things jump instantly to mind, but all of them cross the line that they haven’t touched since under the trees by the word “Reflect”. She glances across the table, trying to read Kelley’s expression, see what kind of an answer she might be hoping for. 

Kelley’s leaning forward, eyes dancing, a smirk on her lips. She’s daring her to cross that same line, Emily realizes. There’s something else in her expression, too, though. Something that almost reads as insecurity. If it was anyone but Kelley across from her, that’s exactly what she’d call it, but it looks so out of place on Kelley. It makes her realize that Kelley has made all of the real moves so far. Kelley had kissed her. Kelley had planned today. Kelley had admitted to wanting. 

Emily has done none of that. She barely even kissed Kelley back, too frozen in the moment, too surprised by the turn of events. 

“I’ve thought about you,” Emily blurts, feeling the need to give something, but not stopping to think through what, exactly she SHOULD give. 

Kelley’s eyebrows knit together and her smirk falters. “That’s not exactly-”

“Naked,” Emily adds, feeling her cheeks burn with a blush she’s sure is turning a nice dark pink.

Kelley’s eyes go wide and Emily can see the way she swallows a little hard. “Oh?” Kelley asks. 

“A lot,” Emily admits, feeling her blush grow even darker. She shifts her eyes to her bowl, picking at the avocado in it with her fork. 

It’s too much. She gave too much. She should have gone with something simpler. Something more basic. Just a “I have romantic feelings for you.” Except that would have sounded stupid and Tobin and Lindsey obviously already know that. 

“How much is a lot?” Kelley asks, and there’s a smugness to her voice that makes Emily kick her under the table. “Ow!” Kelley complains, reaching down to rub her shin. “I just...Like since we’ve been at camp?” 

Emily hesitates, then nods, still not bringing her gaze back up to meet Kelley’s. Her cheeks feel like they’re on fire, and she knows her blush is spreading down her neck and across her chest now. 

“And before?” Kelley asks. 

Emily hesitates a little longer this time, but she nods again. 

Kelley leans in closer, her fingers reaching out across the table, the backs of them brushing against Emily’s free hand where it rests there. “Have you-” Kelley’s voice is low and a little hoarse, and she pauses before rephrasing. “Do the thoughts turn you on?”

“Are all of these questions more truths?” Emily asks, her eyes flicking to where Kelley’s are settling on hers on the table. 

Kelley lets out a small laugh. “No. Maybe. Not the others, but this one can count.”

Emily considers passing. She’s definitely embarrassed herself enough. But Kelley’s smart. It’s not like she doesn’t already know the answer. She just wants confirmation. Emily squirms uncomfortably in her seat, wishing that she wasn’t actually turned on just talking about Kelley being naked. 

Finally she nods again. “Yes,” she croaks. 

Kelley’s fingers still against hers, and then she’s lifting Emily’s hand and threading their fingers together, and Emily watches. She watches the way their hands fit so nicely together. She watches the way Kelley gives her hand a little squeeze. She watches the way Kelley’s thumb strokes against her skin. 

“Next truth,” Kelley says, and her voice is barely above a whisper. “Did you do anything about it?”

“Pass,” Emily replies quickly. She risks a glance to Kelley’s face, gauging her reaction. 

Kelley’s biting her lower lip and the look in her eyes now leaves no trace of the insecurity Emily had seen before. Instead there’s something closer to open want in her gaze and it sends a shiver down Emily’s spine. 

“My turn,” Emily says, her voice coming out more as a croak than she’d like. “Do you want me to have done something about it?” It’s the most forward question she’s asked, yet, and she’s rewarded with the hint of a blush on Kelley’s cheeks. 

Kelley doesn’t break their eye contact though. She licks her lips and stares into Emily’s eyes, and then she nods. “Yeah.”

Emily feels her blush all through her face and all across her chest. “Does the idea of it turn you on?” she presses. 

“That’s another truth,” Kelley comments, the raspiness in her voice giving away just how affected she is by the conversation. 

Emily nods in agreement. 

“Yes,” Kelley replies, then adds, “So much.”

They’re in public, at a restaurant, that admittedly is less than half full given how late they’re having lunch, but their conversation has taken them somewhere else entirely and the air between them is laced with a tension that wasn’t there minutes before. 

“Two more,” Kelley says, and her voice sounds a little too chipper, like she’s forcing herself to try to sound normal. 

“What?”

“We each get two more questions,” Kelley says, sitting back a little and disentangling her hand from Emily’s. 

Emily feels the lack of contact like a splash of cold water until she feels Kelley’s knee bump against hers under the table. “Oh,” Emily replies. 

“Let’s finish up and get out of here, and then we can finish the game,” Kelley suggests. 

Emily nods, but she’s not sure she has all that much of an appetite anymore, a different kind of hunger having taken over instead. 

  
  


They don’t get back to the conversation once they leave. Not right away. They go shopping instead, popping into a few cute little boutiques, picking up some presents for family members and mementos for themselves. Then Emily suggests ice cream and Kelley actually bounces at the idea, and before they know it another two hours have passed and evening is fast approaching. 

Kelley checks her watch as she finishes up her ice cream cone. “We should head back to the van,” Kelley says. 

Emily can’t help but feel a little disappointed. She doesn’t want to get back to the hotel yet. She doesn’t want to get back to no girlfriends at camp and the prying eyes of their friends. She doesn’t want this date...non-date to end. “Oh, okay.”

Kelley’s hand finds hers and Emily manages a smile as they head back to where they’d parked. Emily wants to stop her. She wants to tug on her hand and pull her into a kiss. She wants to ask her to stay out with her all night, find some place secluded for just the two of them to enjoy. (She wants to answer the question she passed on and see if she can bring the blush back to Kelley’s face.) 

Instead she reminds herself that this is all still so new. She reminds herself that they are on the streets of Houston and they’re public figures who might get recognized. She reminds herself that making out in the middle of the sidewalk is not a good look for anyone. 

She wants to do it anyway. 

  
  


They don’t go back to the hotel.

Kelley won’t tell her where they’re going until they’re walking hand in hand past a large brick building that has a sign that reads “Shepherd School of Music” on it towards a sort of grass pyramid-shaped thing that has a roof on pillars hovering above it. 

“Okay, where are you taking me? Is this some cult ritual sacrifice place? Some temple to some old gods?” Emily jokes and she’s rewarded with Kelley’s laughter. 

“No. It’s called the Twilight Epiphany Skyspace. It’s a light sequence projected on the ceiling to compliment the sunset. It’s supposed to be amazing, and, well-” Kelley looks a little shy suddenly as she says, “I couldn’t think of anyone I’d rather share it with.”

And oh. This is different. This isn’t the sexual tension from earlier or the teasing they’ve done on and off throughout the day. This is...soft. This is an admission that hints at more than just physical want. 

Emily takes Kelley’s hand in hers and gives it a squeeze before hooking her arm through Kelley’s and walking even closer to her. “Sounds amazing,” she says, and Kelley smiles at her. 

They find seats together, and Kelley’s hand finds her knee as the light show begins. The colors of the lights blend so well with the colors of the sky that it takes Emily’s breath away, and she finds herself holding on to Kelley’s arm as she stares in awe, glad that Kelley is the one who’s there with her, who’s experiencing this beauty with her. 

She tears her eyes away from the hues of pinks and purples above her and glances at Kelley, her eyes wide, mouth open in wonder, the lights reflected on her face, and suddenly the beauty on the ceiling and in the sky doesn’t compare at all to the one sitting right next to her. 

“Second to last question,” Emily says, leaning in close enough that her lips are almost grazing against Kelley’s cheek and she can feel the shiver that runs through her in response. 

Kelley’s eyes turn to her, but her expression doesn’t change. 

“Is this a date?” 

Kelley’s lips curl up into a smile as she nods. “You had to ask? I might not be doing this right.”

“No, you are,” Emily assures her. “I just needed to hear the words.” 

Someone nearby shushes them, and Kelley shoots a glare over her shoulder, but they settle back and return their gazes upwards. Kelley’s hand slides a little bit up her thigh and gives it a squeeze. It’s not inappropriate, but the thoughts it conjures up in Emily sure are. 

She swallows hard and places her hand on Kelley’s and turns it over, clasping their fingers together. 

Kelley shoots her a sly smile and Emily feels warm all over. 

They watch the rest of the show in silence laced with an almost comfortable tension, brought on by knowing that they are, in fact, on the same page. 

  
  


“How many girls have you dated?” Kelley asks as they walk slowly back towards the van. They’re dragging their feet, in no rush for their day-long date to end. 

“Is this the game?” Emily asks. 

Kelley nods. 

Emily tallies up the girls in her mind, excluding anyone she only went on one or two dates with. “Six,” she finally replies. “But only two seriously, most recently-”

“Clara,” Kelley finishes for her, and Emily doesn’t miss the bitterness in her voice. 

“Right,” Emily confirms. 

“Okay, last question from me: do you still have any feelings for her?” 

Emily doesn’t have to hesitate. She doesn’t have to think about it at all. “No,” she replies. “Not at all.”

Kelley lets out a breath that Emily hadn’t realized she’d been holding, and Emily suddenly can’t stand the idea that they’ve been on a date all day, they’ve been touching SO much, and they still haven’t kissed again yet. 

She stops walking, jerking Kelley to a stop by their connected hands, and she looks at her. 

“Were you really worried? Did you think I would risk this, risk us if I did?” 

Kelley looks kind of sheepish, and then Emily really can’t stand it anymore. She pulls Kelley towards her, stepping in at the same time, and when their lips meet she fuels all of the want that she’s been feeling all day into it. 

Kelley lets out a surprised little gasp as Emily cups her face with one hand, her other hand finding Kelley’s hip. Where their first kiss had been relatively chaste, this one is full of fire, and when Kelley’s tongue licks into her mouth, she meets it eagerly with her own. Kelley’s fingers thread through her hair, holding her closer as she nips at her bottom lip, and Emily can’t stop the moan that escapes her lips. 

It’s enough to remind her, though, that they’re still in public, there are still people around. She breaks the kiss reluctantly and steps back. 

Kelley chases her, though, placing another, much shorter, much chaster kiss on her lips before letting her go. 

Emily’s heart is pounding and butterflies are fluttering in her stomach and she knows that tomorrow they’ll be back to the rigors of camp and they’ll have to put this aside for another little while, but today-

Well, today she has one question left.

“Ready for your last question?” Emily asks, feeling emboldened by the slightly wild lust in Kelley’s eyes and the way that her lips are a little bit red from their kiss. 

Kelley smirks, but nods. 

Emily takes a deep breath to steady herself. She’s nervous even though she thinks she knows the answer. 

“Would you like to up my tally?” 

Kelley looks momentarily confused until Emily says, “Of girls I’ve dated. Would you like to be my girlfriend?”

Kelley’s smile is wide and bright even in the dark, and then she’s pulling Emily in for another kiss that Emily can’t help but melt into, just for a minute. 

“Is that a yes?” Emily breathes against Kelley’s lips. 

“Yes,” Kelley confirms, kissing her again. “Thought you’d never ask, to be honest.”

Emily laughs and breaks away and links her arm through Kelley’s, starting walking towards the van again. 

“Do we tell people?” she asks, almost as an afterthought. 

“Hmm...We could. Or we could play a new game,” Kelley suggests. 

“Oh?”

“Yep. How long does it take them to figure it out for themselves,” Kelley says with a wicked grin. 

Emily laughs. “Yeah. I like that idea.”

“Perfect,” Kelley replies. 

  
  


They’re almost to the van when Kelley says, “Can I ask you one more question?”

“Only if I get one more, too,” Emily replies. 

“When did you start to like me?”

Emily swallows hard. She’s tried not to think about this. She’s so much better at pushing feelings away. Still, the answer finds her relatively easily. “During the World Cup. It just took me until you came to visit to realize it.”

Kelley gives her a surprised look, and then laughs. 

“What about you?” Emily shoots back. 

She’s rewarded by a blush on Kelley’s cheeks, only visible by the streetlight they’re passing under. Kelley looks at her a little sheepishly. “Since day one,” she replies.

Emily stops and gapes at her. “Wait really??” 

Kelley nods. “First day you came to camp I turned to Tobin and said, ‘That one is REALLY cute.’”

“So Tobin has known this whole time??”

“She did tell you,” Kelley points out. 

“YEAH AFTER YEARS!”

Kelley shrugs. “Would you have been ready to hear it before?”

Emily considers that for a moment. “No, I guess not,” she replies. 

“Exactly.”

Emily smirks at her. “You’ve been pining.”

“Shut up,” Kelley mutters, turning and heading to the van, her blush deepening. 

“Pining for YEARS,” Emily says. 

“Shut up,” Kelley repeats. 

“You might actually be worse at feelings than I am,” Emily teases. 

Kelley laughs. “Yeah. Maybe. Lucky I’ve got you.”

Emily grins. 

  
  


When it happens, it happens quickly. 

It’s like 0 to 60 in 2 seconds flat. 

It’s not loud or in people’s faces, but it’s there, all the time. It’s there in the way they look at each other at meals. It’s there in the way they touch constantly, not inappropriately, just a constant need for contact. It’s there in the shared secrets and the subtle smiles and the teasing smirks. It’s there in the way that people just start saying, “Emily and Kelley” as if one doesn’t exist without the other. 

When it happens, there’s no extra noise in Emily’s head because she’s learning to share, to say what she feels, to admit the good and work through the bad without holding onto it. 

When it happens, Emily stops worrying about goodbyes. With Kelley, it’s always, “See you soon” instead. 

  
  
  



	2. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The surprise smutty epilogue blake0tyler really wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't going to add to this, but then blake0tyler really wanted me to, so here it is. This chapter is basically smut, so don't read if it's not your thing. 
> 
> I hope you're all staying home (if you can) and safe and healthy in these times.

She flies to Portland on her first bye week. 

Emily has practice and Kelley jokes around with Tobin and she teases Caitlin and she tells stories to Lindsey, but her eyes track Emily. She can’t help it. 

She’s the cutest girl she’s ever seen and now she gets to tell her that. Now she gets to kiss her. 

Except she’d really like to do a whole lot more than kissing this trip. 

  
  


They go out to eat after Emily’s practice. 

They go out to eat because Emily’s hungry and Kelley just wants to spend time with her (and if she’s a little nervous nobody has to know). And Kelley doesn’t do nervous. She doesn’t do feelings. Kelley cracks jokes. She sees how many times she can make Emily laugh that laugh that crinkles up her eyes and makes her throw her head back exposing that oh-so-kissable neck. She makes Emily laugh to see if she can make her shoot lemonade out of her nose. 

(She totally does. No matter what Emily claims.)

She makes her laugh because it’s the most beautiful sound in the world.

  
  


After...

After they walk slowly and Emily shuffles her feet and the blush on her cheeks makes her blue eyes pop even more and Kelley feels a little braver. 

“I ate too much,” Emily says, and Kelley slips her hand into Emily’s, slotting their fingers together, and shoots her a crooked grin. 

“We’ve got time.”

  
  


They play Mario Kart in Emily’s living room and Kelley doesn’t look down the hall, doesn’t even glance towards Emily’s bedroom. 

Her knee knocks against Emily’s as she swerves the car and then they hit a straightaway and she presses her leg against Emily’s - just a faint pressure, just so that they’re touching. 

Emily misses the next turn and swears, but she doesn’t move her leg away. She shifts into it, the pressure increasing. 

Kelley grins, her eyes glued to the screen, as Emily shifts even more into her space. 

They can definitely play THIS game.

  
  


Kelley uses the turtle shell and then drops her hand, aware that her steering will suffer, but it’s worth it because she drops it straight to Emily’s bare knee and the sharp intake of breath and the low swearing as the shell hits her car and spins her out means that Kelley still takes the lead.

Emily recovers though. A little too fast, really. Kelley risks a glance to the side and sees her tongue sticking out in concentration as she navigates a tricky section and it’s so fucking cute, but also a little disappointing. Kelley’s hand is still on her knee and it’s having no effect on her? No, that needs to be fixed. 

She’s not steering very well. In fact, she’s doing a whole lot of hitting the wall, but she doesn’t really care when she slides her hand up Emily’s thigh a little and Emily lets out a small gasp, but spreads her legs a little wider. 

“Kelley,” Emily complains, but she cuts herself off at the end as Kelley begins to trace small circles on her inner thigh. 

She inches higher, not even really attempting to drive anymore, just seeing how much Emily can take as she continues to try to concentrate. 

Kelley smirks when she misses a turn. 

“Fuck, I thought we were racing,” Emily mutters. 

There’s a blush on her cheeks, but her eyes are still focused on the screen and her hands are gripping the controller just a little bit tighter. 

Kelley slides her fingers up higher. It’s bordering on inappropriate now, her fingers brushing against the bottom of Emily’s shorts, ghosting along the hemline. She’s not sure how much further she should push it. They haven’t crossed this line yet, even if she flew to a different city in a different state with that in mind. 

And then Emily’s throwing down her controller and surging into a kiss, and Kelley forgets all about worries about crossing lines. 

  
  


Emily straddles her on the couch, her weight firm and hot in her lap, her fingers tangling in Kelley’s hair, her lips on Kelley’s lips, on her cheek, on her temple, on her jaw. 

Kelley can’t keep her hands to herself. Her fingers glide over Emily’s back, trace up her sides, trail along the line where her shirt is riding up just a little. Kelley helps it. She tugs it up. Every inch of skin she exposes she smoothes her fingers over.

They break apart just long enough for her to pull Emily’s shirt off and then her fingers trace each dip, each curve of Emily’s chest. She kisses across spatterings of freckles and sucks a mark into the crook of her neck. She can’t help it. If people figure it out that’s okay because Emily is hers and she’s there and she’s whimpering as Kelley’s thumbs brush against her nipples through the fabric of her bra. Emily is hers and now she’ll have a mark that shows the world that. And Emily’s inviting it. She wants it. She wants more. She gasps, “Again,” as Kelley pinches her nipple, not too hard but just enough. And Kelley has to comply.

  
  


They stumble blindly towards the bedroom, Emily’s hands under Kelley’s shirt, tossing it aside once she’s lifted it high enough, lips barely separating for a moment, tongues swiping needily into greedy mouths. 

They make it as far as the hallway. 

Kelley pins Emily to the wall and slides a leg between hers, leaning in, pressing her thigh up. Emily ruts against it. It’s like she can’t help herself. Kelley can feel the heat pooled between her legs even through Emily’s shorts. When Emily lets out a throaty moan, Kelley chuckles softly in her ear, breath ghosting over it as she murmurs, “Impatient much?” 

Emily groans and her head hits the wall with a thud and Kelley licks and kisses down her throat. Kelley ghosts her fingers over Emily’s sides and down her stomach. Kelley feels each muscle twitch and tense. She feels Emily’s fingers gripping at her hips, sliding over her ass, grasping her a little harshly, a little needy, trying to pull her impossibly closer.

  
  


Kelley’s eyes trace over Emily’s chest when she finally unhooks her bra, raking slowly over pale skin and hard nipples. She stares openly, wanting, and then she has to touch, has to feel, has to taste.

She pinches each nipple in turn, then does both at once a little harder, chuckling into the crook of Emily’s neck when she gasps and lets out a needy whimper. She relishes the way that Emily pushes into her touch, like despite all the contact it isn’t enough for her yet either, like she wants this just as badly as Kelley does. 

She licks soothingly over the mark she’s already made, then wraps her hands under Emily’s ass and lifts her up, eliciting a surprised gasp as Emily instinctively wraps both legs around Kelley’s waist. It’s really all just to give Kelley better access to what she really wants her mouth on right now (well, her second choice anyway).

She kisses down across Emily’s chest, not minding one bit the way that Emily’s nails are digging a little painfully into her shoulders as Kelley flicks her tongue across Emily’s nipple

There’s a gasp and a hiss as she does it again, a little firmer, lingering a little longer. 

And then she sucks Emily’s nipple into her mouth, and Emily is unable to stop a low, throaty moan, unable to stop the way she arches into it, her head pressing hard into the wall. Kelley licks at one nipple while her fingers tug at her other one. Her body is pinning Emily to the wall, pressing in between her legs..

Kelley bites, just a little at Emily’s nipples. It’s just enough for a hint of pain, but she knows it will cause way more pleasure, and the way that Emily rocks her hips up in response only confirms it. She does it again to the other nipple and Emily arches into it more, her hips rutting forward, her mouth parted in a breathless moan. 

“Kel,” she whimpers, and Kelley feels it down to her toes, this rush of heat. 

Kelley’s torn. Part of her wants to hear Emily beg for it, to have her writhing and worked up so much until she’s pleading for Kelley to just touch her properly. And then there’s the other part of Kelley - the part that’s dying to give in, to slip her fingers into Emily’s shorts, to feel the wetness and the heat that’s there, the part of her that needs to touch, needs to taste. 

“How wet are you for me?” she breathes against skin that’s glistening from wet kisses. 

Emily whimpers, her cheeks flushed pink, her eyes fluttering closed, like embarrassed to admit just how turned on she is.

Kelley’s fingers trail along the waistline of Emily’s shorts, dipping just inside then coming back out.

“How wet, Em?”

Kelley rocks her hips in, providing a hint of friction, but not nearly enough as she pinches Emily’s nipple again. 

“So wet,” Emily gasps out.

Kelley can’t help herself. She can’t help the groan at the back of the throat or the way she’s suddenly desperate to feel just how wet Emily is. She lets her down, fingers sliding down her stomach, gliding against her skin, feeling the muscles tense as she hits the waistline of Emily’s shorts. “Can I?”

Emily nods, a little emphatically, a little needy. 

Kelley doesn’t waste any time. She slides her fingers down the front of Emily’s shorts and right into her underwear and swipes a finger through Emily’s wetness. And fuck, Emily IS so wet and it’s all for her and the knowledge makes her go a little weak in the knees. She swipes through again, teasingly, and Emily’s hips buck forward. 

“Fuck, Kel...”

“What do you want?” Kelley asks, letting her finger trail a slow circle around Emily’s clit, touching anything really, just teasing at what she could be doing. 

Emily lets out a strangled whimper. 

Kelley leans in closer, she kisses Emily’s jaw, her cheek, just under her ear.

“What do you need, baby?”

The pet name falls from her lips so easily, but she doesn’t expect the effect on Emily. She doesn’t expect the way Emily’s hips buck forward again and her head slams back to the wall and the needy whine falling from her lips. 

“I want-“

Kelley dips the tip of a finger into Emily, just a hint, then moves up to circle Emily’s clit a little tighter. 

“I need-“ Emily gasps. 

Kelley brushes her finger over Emily’s clit, just for a moment, and then she’s sliding it back down, dipping it into Emily’s wet folds once again. 

Emily lets out a frustrated growl and bucks her hips again. “Fuck! I need you to fuck me, Kelley! God I need you inside. Now. Please!”

Kelley grins against the shell of Emily’s ear. “Well why didn’t you just say so?”

Kelley doesn’t tease anymore. As much as she wants to, she also can’t resist anymore. She wants to feel her. She wants to be inside her. She thrusts two fingers in, and Emily’s more than wet enough for it. She moans as Emily’s walls immediately constrict around her fingers like she’s already so close, just from kissing, just from a little bit of teasing. The knowledge spurs Kelley on. 

She kisses her, sinking into the kiss as her fingers work up a rhythm, Emily squirming and bucking against her hand. Kelley pushes in a little deeper, she curls her fingers just a bit, and Emily’s gasping into her mouth. 

“Fuck! Kel! Fuck! I’m- Fuck!” 

Kelley chuckles against her lips and does it again and again. She can’t focus on kissing properly anymore and her wrist is at a bit of an awkward angle with the shorts, but she doesn’t care because Emily’s eyes are fluttering closed and her lips are a bit swollen and parted and her head is pressing back into the wall exposing her throat a little better, and she’s already looking so wrecked, and she’s fucking gorgeous. It spurs Kelley on. She latches her lips onto Emily’s throat, attempting to suck another mark there as she continues to thrust, angling her hand a little differently so that her palm provides some friction against Emily’s clit as she rocks her hips to meet each thrust. 

Emily’s legs start to tremble and Kelley hooks an arm around her, helping hold her up, helping as Emily’s pants become heavier and her hips cant up more erratically, helping as a string of curses falls from Emily’s lips. 

“Feel good, baby?”

Kelley feels Emily pulse around her fingers at her words. 

“Fuck! So good! Kel! Fucking- You don’t- Fuck! I-”

Kelley curls her fingers again, a little slower, a little teasing, and Emily’s answer devolves into a whimper. 

“You close, baby?” Kelley asks, knowing the answer. She adjusts to rub her thumb over Emily’s clit and Emily’s answering buck is almost enough to push her away. Almost. 

Kelley leans in even firmer, using her bodyweight to keep Emily up and in place as she does it again. 

There’s a low groan and Emily’s eyes meet hers pleadingly. 

“Kelley,” she whines. 

Kelley thrusts again, building up speed as she presses messy kisses to Emily’s cheek, to her jaw, to her throat. “Come for me, baby,” she coaxes, and Emily does. 

She pulses around her fingers, her breath catching in her throat as she tumbles over the edge, her body slumping into Kelley’s, her legs no longer supporting her at all. And then she’s panting, breathing so heavily, swearing under her breath, fingers gripping at Kelley so tightly it might bruise, breath falling hotly against Kelley’s neck. 

Kelley rides it out with her, placing tender kisses to chin, her nose, her cheek, until Emily’s searching out her lips again. 

“Fuck,” Emily gasps against her lips. “Kelley, that was-” She breathes out hard as Kelley slides her fingers slowly out. 

Kelley steps back a little, just enough to give them a little space to breathe but still there enough to press into Emily some, to help keep her up, to keep touching her. She brings her fingers up to her lips and looks Emily in the eye as she takes her first taste. She can’t help the way her eyes flutter closed, or the way she moans at the taste of Emily on her lips. She can’t help her satisfaction at the way that Emily chokes out, “Fuck.” 

She wants more. 

She kisses Emily fiercely, swallowing her whimper as she tastes herself on Kelley’s lips. She moves to Emily’s ear, sucking her earlobe into her mouth and releasing it with a wet pop. “You taste so good,” she murmurs before stepping back with a sultry grin. She looks Emily in the eyes and drops to her knees in front of her and Emily swears under her breath, hands clutching at the wall like she’s looking for purchase, like she might need it to keep herself up. 

Kelley’s hands find the waistband of Emily’s shorts, and she looks up questioningly. Emily bites her lower lip as she nods, and that’s all the encouragement Kelley needs to slide her shorts and her underwear down in one go. 

Emily steps out of them and kicks them away, and then she looks back at Kelley, so much heat in her gaze, so much open lust, and just the tiniest hint of...nerves?

Kelley scoots forward, placing a tender kiss to Emily’s hip. She lets her fingers travel soothingly down over Emily’s ass, along the sides of her legs, then she trails them slowly up the inside of Emily’s thighs. This time her languid pace is less about teasing and more about putting Emily at ease. 

“God, you’re so fucking sexy,” Kelley murmurs just beneath Emily’s belly button, placing wet kisses there. “I’ve wanted to do this for so long.” She presses the words into the top of the v aiming down towards where Kelley really wants to be, but she resists as Emily shivers against her. “Wanted to touch you like this.” Kelley kisses Emily’s other hip, her fingers inching higher on Emily’s thighs, spreading her wider. “Wanted to make you wet.” Her fingers find the wetness at the top of Emily’s thighs, evidence of her previous ministrations, and she traces through it to emphasize her point. “Wanted to make you moan,” Kelley whispers, kissing lower, getting closer to her goal. Above her Emily whimpers. “Wanted to make you come,” Kelley adds, pressing another kiss even lower. 

“Kelley, please,” Emily moans. “Please make me come again.”

Fuck. She could really get used to the begging, to the needy way Emily asks, her voice hoarse, her body squirming like she’s fighting the urge to just thrust her hips up towards Kelley’s face. 

Kelley smirks against Emily’s skin, then lifts one of Emily’s legs, hooking it over her shoulder. She flits her eyes up to Emily’s as she places a kiss on Emily’s inner thigh, the smell of her arousal turning her on even more, enticing her in. “All you had to do was ask,” she breathes out. 

And then she takes a moment to look, to see the glistening wetness waiting for her, to see Emily in all of her beauty, fully for the first time. 

And then she’s propelling herself forward, licking up and through, Emily’s hands tangling in her hair, fingers digging into her scalp from so little already. Kelley moans at the taste and the vibration of it must shoot through Emily because she shudders against Kelley’s mouth. 

She licks through her again and again, Emily’s fingers tugging a bit at her hair, pulling her closer, Emily’s legs trembling already. It’s a special kind of power, knowing that she can work Emily up so quickly, that even though this is their first time together she can read Emily’s body well enough, she can give her what she needs, what she wants, take her to the edge in just a few minutes. 

Except maybe she’s not ready for Emily to come again yet. Maybe she wants to draw this out. Just a little. Maybe she wants to tease her, build her up a little slower. She shifts, not a lot, but a little, and Emily whines. She whines at the absences of Kelley’s tongue running through her folds, at the sudden lack of contact where she needs it. Kelley grins and places a chaste kiss to Emily’s clit.

Except it’s hard to keep anything chaste when Emily bucks into the slightest pressure. 

“Kelley,” Emily whimpers, and Kelley’s so tempted - Emily’s voice is so needy and it’s such a rush to know just how much she wants her, she could just give in, but…

Kelley kisses the top of the inside of Emily’s thighs, sticky with her wetness. She licks up the other side, and Emily squirms, attempting to grind down, attempting to get Kelley’s tongue where she wants it. 

Kelley tightens her grip on Emily’s hips and places a kiss just above Emily’s clit. 

“FUCK! Kelley! Just, fucking-”

Kelley flicks her tongue across Emily’s clit and Emily cuts herself off with a sharp gasp. 

“What’s that, babe?” Kelley asks, unable to keep her amusement from her voice. 

“Fuck you!” Emily whimpers. 

“I was hoping that was the plan, yes,” Kelley retorts, her breath hitting Emily’s clit, her lips ghosting against it, and Emily rocks her hips into it, a needy moan falling from her lips. 

Kelley flicks her tongue across it again, and Emily half screams and half groans. “Kelley!”

Kelley chuckles against her and then she licks up and through her wet folds again, relishing the taste, relishing the way Emily’s entire body shudders above her, relishing the way Emily’s legs go weak. 

She licks at Emily’s clit then sucks it into her mouth and Emily’s nails dig tighter into her scalp. She works her up, feeling her nearing the edge, feeling her legs tremble, listening to the slew of curses that come out less and less clear, and then she stops, kissing away, kissing across Emily’s pelvic bone, licking down over her inner thighs. 

Emily lets out a strangled complaint that’s more sound and less words. 

She’s panting as she whines, “I thought you were going to let me come.”

Kelley’s breath catches. Something about the way Emily phrases it, the way she makes it seem like Kelley has all the power - she’d be lying if she said it wasn’t a little intoxicating. “I will,” she promises with a flick of her tongue across Emily’s clit that makes her strain against the hold Kelley has on her hips. “Soon,” she adds before licking hard with the flat of her tongue. 

“Fuck!” Emily cries out, her whole body shaking. “Kelley, I’m- You’re driving me- The things you make me feel-”

It’s like Emily can’t finish a single thought as Kelley teases her. Licking here, sucking there, pausing to kiss, moving far too slowly for any real satisfaction, and yet it’s obvious that she’s driving her wild. It’s obvious by the way that Emily grinds down against her mouth, by the way Emily grasps at the wall searching for a purchase that isn’t there, by the way her fingers dig into Kelley’s skin and pull at her hair and the way her leg tightens on Kelley’s shoulder. 

“Kelley, please,” Emily whimpers. “I’m- You’re making me hot all over and- Fuck! If I don’t- If you don’t let me soon- Please, Kel.” 

Her last words are barely above a whisper, but Kelley feels them through her whole body. Suddenly she needs for Emily to come. She needs to see it, to feel it, to cause it, and then she needs to be touched. 

She laps at Emily, working up a rhythm, adjusting so that she can rub tight circles around Emily’s clit with her fingers while her tongue works through her folds. There’s a steady stream of moans from above her and Emily’s trembling around her. 

“I’m so close, Kelley! Kel, I’m gonna- I’m gonna- FUCK!” 

Kelley holds her up as she comes, licking her through it, helping her as her legs shake and her body pulses, bringing her down slowly, letting the sensations linger, drinking her up, savoring the moment. 

She’s a little stiff, a little tentative when she lets Emily’s leg down, letting her test her weight before she really shifts away and gets to her feet. 

Emily’s smile is a little shy and her expression is a little dazed. She’s so fucking cute and looks so thoroughly wrecked that Kelley can’t help but kiss her. She kisses her long and slow, swallowing the moan as she tastes herself on Kelley’s tongue. She kisses her until they’re both breathless and Emily’s fingers are beginning to travel up and down her sides with a little purpose. 

“Need you naked,” Emily complains against Kelley’s lips, tugging at the waistband to Kelley’s shorts. “Need you moaning.” She kisses along Kelley’s jaw. “Need you- Bedroom- Now!”

  
  


Emily’s touch burns across her skin, but not nearly as much as her gaze does. Emily keeps looking at her in this certain way, like she can’t quite believe she gets to touch her like this, like she can’t quite believe that this is real, but there’s something else in her gaze too. There’s something that makes Kelley throb between her legs and makes her give in when Emily rolls her onto her back. It’s this look like Emily has never wanted anyone more, and it DOES things to Kelley. 

Emily trails her fingers across Kelley’s collarbones, over her shoulders, ghosting against the sides of her breasts. Kelley can’t help but arch into it, can’t help the way that her breath is uneven already. When Emily rubs her thumbs across both of Kelley’s nipples at once, she gasps, and the look on Emily’s face, half smug and half awe, makes her want to kiss her immediately. 

And she can, so she does. 

She kisses her long and deep and then Emily rolls her nipples between her thumb and forefinger and all Kelley can do is moan into Emily’s mouth. Emily kisses across her jaw, flicks her tongue against Kelley’s earlobe, and murmurs, “I hope you’re ready for a little payback for all of that teasing.”

  
  


“Fuck! Em! Emily! Jesus Christ!” 

It’s not like she’d thought that Emily was inexperienced. Obviously she’s had a few long-term girlfriends, so naturally she’d have skills, but holy fuck. Kelley’s not sure she’s ever been this turned on ever in her life. 

Emily has kissed and caressed every part of her body, tongue licking across clusters of freckles, fingers pressing in at her hips, on her thighs, on her shoulders, teeth grazing across her collarbone, nipping gently at her nipples, mouth sucking marks into her skin above her beast, on her inner thigh, at her hip. Kelley’s going absolutely insane and Emily has yet to touch her between her legs. 

She might actually scream. 

Emily kisses a path down her stomach and Kelley can’t help the way her fingers tangle in Sonny’s silky hair, can’t help the way she tugs a little, trying to get Sonny where she wants her, can’t help the way her hips rock up needily. 

“Want something, sweetheart?” 

And the pet name does something to her. There’s a sudden eruption of butterflies and the ache between her legs only grows. It’s not a want, it’s a need. 

“Fuck! Emily! Your mouth - Baby! Just fucking-”

“My mouth?” Emily hums against her hip bone, and maybe Kelley’s a little rough, maybe her fingers pull a little hard in Emily’s hair as she tries to move her to the right place because there’s a sharp inhale from Emily. But then she’s chuckling gently, kissing a line down the crease where Kelley’s thigh meets her hip and saying, “What about my mouth, sweetheart?”

But before Kelley can articulate an answer, before she can attempt to rock her hips up, needy and demanding, Emily’s mouth is on her. 

Kelley gasps, bucking up, only to have Emily’s strong hands hold her hips down as she laps at her, tongue alternating between running through her and flicking over her clit, and-

Fuck!

Kelley’s already on the edge. She’s already so fucking close and Emily has only JUST touched her properly. 

Emily’s arm presses heavily across her hips and she brings a hand to Kelley’s clit to rub as she hums against her, licking and sucking, and Kelley can’t help but try to grind against her mouth, can’t stop the string of “Fuck! Baby! Right there! Don’t stop! Fucking- Baby! Em! Fuck! I love you I love you I love you!” that falls from her lips. She can’t stop the way it cuts off in a strangled moan when Emily changes gears, sucks on her clit, her fingers sliding easily into her wet folds. She can’t stop the way she’s clamping down around Emily’s fingers, back arching off the bed, one hand grasping at the sheets and the other tangled in Emily’s hair, nails digging in maybe a little too hard. Her legs shake and she’s not sure the way she’s breathing is entirely healthy and her entire body feeling overwhelmed in the best way possible as she comes harder than she can remember coming in a long time. 

And Emily’s mouth is still on her, slower now, a little calmer, and when Kelley regains enough of her senses to lift her head and look down, Emily leans her head against Kelley’s inner thigh, chin and cheeks wet and glistening, smug smile on her face. 

“Is that where you wanted my mouth?” Emily asks. 

“Fuck. Baby, I don’t think anyone has ever- I don’t think- Fuck, I can’t think!” Kelley declares. “I think you broke my brain.” 

Emily chuckles and Kelley reaches for her hand, tugs her up the bed, pulls her into a kiss, tastes herself there. 

“You don’t think I’m done, do you?” Emily asks, teeth tugging teasingly at Kelley’s bottom lip. “I’m only getting started. Want to see how many more times you’ll tell me you love me.”

Kelley blushes. It’s not that she hadn’t thought it, but-

Well, it’s so early in their relationship. 

She’s been crushing forever, but the actual them is still so new, and-

Emily kisses her deeply, fingers teasing down her stomach, sliding easily through her folds, and then she’s thrusting in with two fingers, adjusting her body so that her weight is thrown behind it, fucking Kelley into the mattress with each thrust. 

And Kelley doesn’t care. She can be embarrassed later. Right now she’s-

Fuck-

Oh God-

“Em! I’m so sensitive. You’re gonna make me-”

Emily’s fingers curl inside it hits just right, and Kelley moans. Emily kisses her again, kisses her lips and her cheek and her throat, kisses along her shoulder. 

Kelley kisses too, as best she can, but she’s losing focus quickly. 

When Kelley comes again, it’s with Emily on top of her, Kelley’s fingers digging into Emily’s back, her teeth sinking into Emily’s shoulder, and Emily whispering, “I love you too, beautiful,” into her ear. 

  
  


After…

After they make it to the shower before they just can’t keep their hand to themselves anymore. 

After Emily makes her come again under a stream of hot water. 

After Kelley chases her back to bed and makes her beg before making her scream in ecstasy. 

After they curl up spent and naked, content to just hold each other, to feel the steady rise and fall of each other’s breathing, to let hands idly caress bare skin with no set goal in mind. 

After, Kelley can’t help the blush on her cheeks as she asks, “Did you mean it?”

She can’t help the smile when Emily kisses her softly, tenderly, slowly, and says, “Like I’ve never loved anyone else.”


End file.
